Comments : Common and Caustic.

Maoriland Worker, Volume 2, Issue 10, 12 May 1911, Page 12

Comments : Common and Caustic.

''Socialism is in the air," cries Mr Prior. Yes, and capitalism is in a funk. *- * * Light auburn hair, says au authority, is to be the fashion during the coining season at Home. It would be interesting to know who sets the fashion in such mavters, and how many women can grow hair to follow it at will. •X- -X- *- The best way to a bop the raising of rents is to erase the rent raisers. ■X- 4C- *- A Crimean veteran who died in the Nottingham workhouse recently, used to be a big man in. the Grenadier Guards —he stood six feet nine inches on his stocking soles. ■» * * A Labor candidate in the midst of the recent municipal campaign received word that he was the father of a, fine bouncing boy. Ho apologised for cutting his address short by saying that he had to hurry home to be introduced to a new member of his family. "Another Labour gain!" cried a man at the back of the hall. ■k- -x- -xOne of the newly elected members of Wellington City Cotmcil on learning that he was "in," hurried home to let his family know of his success. On his wife, Avho had been anxiously waiting his return, answering his exuberant ring, he at once set he.r doubts at rest by inviting her to "Kiss a Councillor!" * -;:- •;;- Some of the reasons given by candidates wliy the doctors "should vote for them Avore exceedingly clisingenious. None of them, however, were as frank as the circular issued by a candidate for a municipal aiiditorship in a Wcstralian town. It ran something like this: "A few cogent reasons why John Brown is worth a vote for Municipal Auditor. Because he is a small man with a large family, and good at additions. Because only ono candidate can be elected, as the. Habeas Corpus Act doe 3 not provide for more. Because he would not liko to lose his fiver deposit, as three butchers, four bakers, and the man ho borrowed it from are waiting for i r.' ' * -X- * Last week "Milk and Meat" column quoted with approbation the llev. R. J. Campbell's saying, "Tho Church had nothing to do with getting men into Heaven, but with getting Heaven into men." But isn't that but a paraphrase, and a weak paraphrase of the saying of Dr. Norman (the Great Norman) McLcod—"lt's not so much keeping men out of Hell, as it is keeping Hell out of men!" * * *■ It> was the same Norman MeLeod, who, along with another meenister was caught in a raging snow-storm in the Western Highlands. After fighting the elements for a couple- of hours they at last came on a Highland inn. Both clergymen were almost benumbed and on entering tho inn Norman called for '"'Two glass of Toddy." The whisky being served iio "was about to raise his glass when his brother clergyman touched his arm and said, "Let us ask a blessing," proceeding forthwith to offer up what McLeod thought an altogether outrageously long prayer. On opening his eyes the prayer found both glasses empty. Norn?.an, reading' his questioning glance, ;;aid. "Scripture says ye should 'watch and pray!' " ■a- -x- • -XTalking of Norman McL-eod, Professor McKonzie, tho Wellington champion of secular education, might find a good ally in tho Jlcv. Dv.'s mother. Mrs. McLcocl, writing of her upbringing at DruiTidriftsaig, dealing with the question of religious, .sej vices, says these were few ami far between. "Yet," to quote the old lady's own words, "in spite of this extraordinary absence of roliginvLS ir.rvt ruction, j>,;...:! of pastoral superintendence, the peuple. were moral and sober." And Mrs. McT.eod was tho wife of n clergy /nan, the mother, the grandmother, and groat grandmother of clergymen (being in her ninety-third year) when slio wrote tho so words. It cannot be claimed, therefore, that her bias was against tho church. 45- * -XO;i a tram car the other day a young man was causing his neighbour, a crusty old gentleman, much annoyance by noises eeimnon t.o sufferers from col-! in th? head. After glaring at tho oiLVii-'er for some, time. the. old g'-iit e..u'd l-enr it no longer, so turning to him lie blurted out, ''.Have you prot a hnjidkorchief r"' "Yes," replied til-:- v;;i!r.li. v,-it!i anuther sniff, "))i;t not tv !r;:n ! -; It- i.-i not 1,-y its actual oost but hy the, }>!'■:!.-•; ?•.-> it confers t!;at we oprist! the v:■]'.<(• of a;:;; received. Jii'lged by

this standard wliat could be a more acceptable gift by any friend of yours than a copy or two of The Maobiland Worker? Try it. Thanks. -x- -x- -xA reader of last week's '-Comments" would like if the difference between "Public Ownership" and "Socialisation" were made clearer to his "muddy' , vision. Things publicly owned may still be used or produced for 'profit." Things Socialised are produced for use. The trani cars in Wellington are publicly owned bub to the Worker who is too poor to pay they might as well be privately owned—he's got to walk. The tram cars in Glasgow are publicly owned and the Worker who cannot pay cannot ride. But Glasgow has Socialised her river ferries and the pennyless Worker is as free to use them as the merchant prince. * ->r -XThe New Zealand Kailways are publicly owned : and if one lives out-back, a good distance from medical service, and ■ones wif-e is about to become a mother, one has to pay for riding on, the publicly owned railway to convey the prospective mother to the publicly owned Maternity Home—where again one has got to pay. And all the time Ministers of the Crown cry out against the decreasing birth rate. But th-e Veterinary Service of the Agricultural Department has been Socialised, and if ones brood sow takes sick all one has to do ! is to ring up the Department and the latest and best of skill available to save that pig's life is at ones service free, gratis, and for nothing. Not --muddy/ but void of vision is he who can see '"no difference" between '"Public Ownership'" and 'Socialisation." ■j:- -k- -xTaiking about pigs. A Yorkshire workhouse master swept the board at a local agricultural show, taking the prizes m six out of the seven classes for pigs- The Guardians were so delighted that they ordered that all the- prize money, over £10, be handed over to the master, who was congratulated upon the fact that he had earned an increased profit of £30 from the workhouse farm. Some Avorkhouse- masters have been .su:-:T>ected of paying more attention to the pigs than to the inmates, but it may be presumed the worthy master r'M-eri'ed to engages in his. agricultural pursuits as a hobby in his spare time after he has completed Ills duties to the satisfaction | of all concerned—including the inmates. Iv the opinion of the capitalist class the Socialist attempt- to prevent war by drawing the Workers of all lands into closer sympathy and understanding of their common, interest is not only unpatriotic, it ■is criminal, blasphemous. and contrary to all the laws of God and nature. But what language is best fitted to describe the Patriotism that allows th-e capitalist to sell the munitions of war io a nation that within a few short months may be using' them to the destruction of their fellow countrymen ? -X- -X- -XEmployers' J r ed. Secretary Prior has been making his moan over the misfortunes of the poor capitalists who find the opportunities for investments in New Zealand are becoming more and more limited, and the profits therefrom so curtailed that they are forced to take their capital out of the country, or, rather than risk all for so small a return, they prefer to let it rust for nothing in the vaults of the various banks. In. another column. is given an interesting analysis of the latest financial .statement of Dalgo.fcy and Company and the reader is asked to place the folks wing alongside- the same as further evidence that Mr. Prior lias a. great .rcr-tnect for the truth. Th-e report cf the- National Mortgage Company of New Zealand shows that, after paying all expenses iv London and New' Zealand, allowing the usual honorariums to interest on debentures, making full provision for bad and doubtful debts, depreciation on premises and plant, and giving a bonus of nineteen per cent, to the staff, last years earnings let'!; a profit of T'.vr.NTY-Tirr:Kr, per cent! It is a somewhat unfortunate (?) coincidence that the name of Prior should rhyme with.— But what's the rhyme for lyr-eP Oh what's the rhyme for lyre? The employers ne'er had a. secretaire, So truthful and fo ir as Prior ! •» -x- -xWriting on Christianity and Socialism in the January "Alder sgat© Magazine," llev. H . J. Taylor says, £i The word Soc.iaii.sin is derived from the Latin word Socius, meaning a comrade. It stands for faith in comradeship as the basis or social life, and anticipates the social state in which thereshall be no strife of man against man, or nation against nation. It is the angel song of peace and goodwill in one word."