England, Mother England

Maoriland Worker, Volume I, Issue 8, 20 April 1911, Page 16

England, Mother England

The Blighs own 38,764 acres, mostly J in Ireland. Ireland is full ay absentee landlords. The Tollemaches ay Cheshire own 32,456 acres; yearly rental, £37,567. They are Conservatives, becaze they have somethin' to conserve. The Argylls own 175,114 acres in Scotland ; yearly rental, £50,843. The motto is visible on many Scots lampposts, "God bless the Duke of Argyll." The Spencers own 24,254 acres. This is sufficient ground for a lot ay "Faerie Queens." Their yearly rental is £42,219. They believe in Free Thrade in everythin' bar the land. The ButeStuarts own 178,344 acres; yearly rental, £283,263. This income is mcd by colliers. The darkness ay the mine produces myopia, -which makes thim vote Libral an' Tory. The Courtenays own 53,688 acres; yearly rental, £43,671. As the intelligence ay the people decreases, rents increase. The Ashley Coopers own 19,573 acres. Yearly rental, £16,083. Some ay thim hould Libral principles in addishun to Libral salaries. Lord Bolton owns 29,226 acres; yearly rental, £27,553. He is a total abstainer from tripe bits. The Bridgmans ay Bradford own 19,104 acres; yearly rental, £31,934. None ay the family goes out charm. Lord Dudley owns 25,554 acres; yearly rental, £123,178; also thirteen liyins. The clergymen who get these livins spake highly ay him. The Villiers own 18,937 acres; yearly rental, £55,773. Yez may lead an ass to the pollin' booth, but you can't make him think. The Grevilles ay Warwick own 10,102 acres; yearly rental, £18,337. A human being is the only animal that j pays rint. Lord Brooke owns 20,611 acres ; yearly rental, £18,337. Men may come an' men may go. The Brooke goes on for ever. Lord Blantyre owns 14,061 acres; yearly rental, £20,558. He sez, "It's surprisin' how much we do for the poor." He shud have said, "How much we do the poor." The Gores own 129,796 acres, an' over 100,000 acres in Ireland. About 36,000 people left Ireland last year. They'd had enoxv Gore, praps. The Nelsons have drawn £600,000 for past services. The present Earl dhraws a pension a,v £5000 a year unher the Fair Conthracts Clause. We'll have to jine the same Thrade Union as the Earls. Bravo, bravissimo, as they sen i' Ashton. The Heathcotes own 163,495 acres; yearly rental, £120,806. This family has been both Libral and Tory, but they're still sound on the land question. Earl Talbot owns 34,858 acres; yearly rental, £57,753. Two more ay thim own 39,946 acres. Great minds run in grooves. Lord Lansdown owns 135,517 acres; yearly rental, £53,549. His mother owns 9204 acres; yearly rental, £8881. A man like this can't help honourin' his father an' his mother. He is noted for -what he didn't do durin' the late Boer War. His relative, the Earl of Orkney, owns 11,489 acres in Ireland; yearly rental, £5789. God save Ireland! Earl of Zetland owns 66,179 acres; yearly rental, £48,765. He is very fond ay curios. Let's send him a Libra! an' a Tory wurkin' man. They're the greatest curios I know ay. The Marquis ay Hertford owns 73,763 acres; yearly rental, £91,631. iV> Casey was toul by her docthor to stop ■wearin' corsets an' give up sweets. She didn't take his advice, she sent for another dochthor. If Libral and Tory wurkers wud thry another docthor they might get the land nationalised. The Boyles, Earl ay Cork, own 37,819 acres; rent roll, £17,349. A Labour man in the House is worth ten in the lobby. Another Boyle, Earl ay Shannon, owns 12,743 acres; rent roll, £9322. Baron Carleton, another, owns 12,743 acres; yearly rental, £9322. I don't like boils; they're very painful. The Earl a.v Cork is a consistent an' active Liberal. That's what Rattigan wud call a Corker. The Earl ay Powis owns 60,559 acres ; yearly rental, £62,718. Like the village blacksmith— His Powis wet with honest sweat He does whoe'er he can Capital is simply stored-up Labour. When the workers begin to think for themselves, instead of allowing others to do it for them, a House of Lords will not be necessary, and a House of Commons with two hundred of its members united to the House of Lords by birth or marriage will not be called representative of the people. Labour has always been spelled with a small "1." We intend to spell it Avith a large "L." The Trenches own 86,767 acres in Ireland; yearly rental, £64,999. They are held in great awe. If ye menshun their name in an Irish cottage, the •hildher run undher the bed. The Thynnes, Marquises ar Bath, •wi 75,315 acres; yearly rental,

To Whom Does She Belong?

£80,957. Ye can't undherstand any person bein' Thynne on that, can ye? The Duke ay Cleveland owns 102,785 acres; yearly rental, £95,755. Rooney's donkey lies down whin its tired, but it's only an ass, not a wurkin' man. Lord O'Neill, Shane's Castle, Ireland, owns 64,963 acres; yearly rental, £45, 647. "I'm sitting on the stile. Mary; They've left mc nothing else." | The Marquis ay Ailesbury owns 55,061 acres; yearly rental, £59,716. The master's daughters were sighing, A& negro wrongs were told. While the white slaves lay dying. Who earned their father's gold. —Sadler. The Vernons own 9801 acres; yearly rental, £15,313. Down, down, we go, -we're so very, very low. To the hell of the deep sunk mines. One and ninepence for digging a ton ay coal. Think imperially! The Duke ay Hamilton owns 157,384 acres; yearly rental, £140,793. His daughter is our richest heiress. It's comfortin' to know this, -whin ye're out a.v work an' the childher want bread. The Hamiltons own altogether 350,000 acres. How these people must have wurked! The Duke ay Somerset owns 25,207 acres; yearly rental, £37,570. As the laAA r yer said when his son came out of prison. "For Hevvin's sake, Rupert, if you must steal, steal in a legal manner !" Just so; all these lands have j been stolen in a legal manner. The Fitzgeralds own 71,581 acres; yearly rental, £48,841. "A man's a man for ay that." But a' that helps. The Molyneux own 18,769 acres in Lancashire ; yearly rental, £42,997. The chief burden upon land is the landlord. The Duke of Sutherland owns one million three hundred and fifty-eight thousand acres, also two castles and twelve country seats. The late Marchioness in 1814 determined to convert the country into sheep farms. She divided seven hundred and ninety-four thousand acres into twenty-nine great sheep farms, each inhabited by one family. The poor people didn't like to quit their homes, but the houses were pulled down over their heads. Many died from cold and exposure, children Avere born in the open air on a cold March day. One bed-ridden man had his house unroofed, and died from exposure to the wind and rain. Another poor fellow, whose family lay ill of the fever, had to carry his two sick children twenty-five miles on his back before he could find them shelter. Our old nobility! "There's blood on your new foreign shrubs, Squire, There's blood on your pointers' feet; There's blood on the game you sell, Squire, There's blood on the game you eat; You have' sold the labourin' man, Squire, Body and soul, to shame, To pay lor a seat in your house, Squire, To nay i'or a feed of your game." If the landowner went to bed to-day, and simply breathed for twelve months, his property would increase without him doing a stroke. If ye buy a penn'orth of onions, or a pound of potatoes or apples, yez are paying so much to the landowner, who extracts it from the tenant farmer in the shape of rent for alloAving him to groAv food. Should ye put a shovelful of coal on the fire, the landlord receives two royalties from 3 r ou—a mining royalty for the coal and a mineral royalty for the iron of which the shovel is made. Every time yez drink a cup of tea yez are taxed t| r o hundred per cent., and every time yez smoke a. tab yer taxed. Whin ye want a drink of beer ye have to pay to the Revenue to keep soldiers and sailors. To guard yer land ? No, yez have none, only that bit in the flower-pot on the back bedroom windy. To guard theil land, not yours. John Churchill, the first duke, a needy hanger-on ay Charles: ' 'He was a man who owed his riches to his sister's dishonour, Avho had been kept by the most profuse an' shameless woman, Barbara Palmer, who granted him £5000 for jumping through the window when the king was coming to see her." Ay coorse, a man can't be blamed for what his ancesthor did; at the same time, there's not much to brag about in "our old nobility." The Duke ay Marlborough won the Battle of Blenheim. The House ay Commons reAvarded him as follows:— The Royal Manor ay Woodstock, etc., an' half a, millyon was spent in buildin' him a palace. The park consists ay 2700 acres, and is twelve miles round. Afther the Battle ay Ramilies a pension ay £5000 a year was granted to the Duke's heirs for ever. This was paid for 173 years, an' amounted to £692,000, but has since been redeemed at twenty-seven an' a half years' purchase. The House ay Commons censured his conduct for meanly acceptin' bribes, whilst his duchess an' himself were receivm' £64,23* a y*ar. The

mansion granted to the duchess cost the nation £40,000. The present Churchills own 21,944 acres in Oxfordshire, 2755 in Wilts, also 1534 acres elsewhere. Their motto is, "Faithful but unfortunate." The workers' motto is. "Faithful but foolish." The only hope for the wurker lies in independent representashun. There's no difrauce Avhatever between Churchill the Liberal landowner, and Balfour, whose uncle mcd £200,000 out ay Army contracts in India in four years. These people are entirely antagonistic to the wurker. When a Board ay Directors meet to drop wages, they don't menshun politics; they vote solid, both Libral an' Tory, agin the wurker. Fifty-tAvo Libral monopolists recently tried to pinch the electricity supply ay London. They united with their Tory friends. As Shakespeare sez, "A plague on your houses !'' Let Librals an' Tories bury the hatchet, an' unite as a Socialist party. The- man Avho won't fight for the wimmen an' childher is better in the cemetery. It's quiet there.