England, Mother England

Maoriland Worker, Volume I, Issue 7, 20 March 1911, Page 18

England, Mother England

"Casey," who, with his fiddle, is a familiar figure on the I.L.P. platform in the Old Country, continues to write interestingly and humorously to the "Labour Leader" of his campaigning experiences from week to week. So many of our lecturers and pamphleteers are such sober dogs, that "Casey," with his caustic wit and wisdom, comes like an oasis in the desert of hard facts and figures. Among the first o* his many effusions from the reading of which we have derived both pleasure and profit, was his pamphlet, published some half-dozen years ago, entitled "Who Are the Bloodsuckers" founded on the following quotation from a speech of Lord Stanley (then Postmas-ter-General) :— Means should be devised .by which there should not be this continual blood-sucking on the part of the public servants. Lord Stanley speaking about bloodsucking is excruciatingly funny. But let's see how "Casey" deals with him and his "class" :— The Stanleys. Lord Stanley is heir to Knowsley. He owns Caworth Park, Sunningdale, an' 30 Great Cumberland Place. He is a mimber ay three Clubs—Whites, Marlboro', the Guards—not recknin' Indian Clubs or dumbelis. He was married to a daughter ay the Duke ay Manchestner. The Manchesther branch is discinded from a gentleman with the ufonistic applashun ay "Jimmy Twitcher," who in addishun to being' twice married, had nine childher by Miss Reay, the acthress. Lord Stanley's father owns one-eighth ay the County ay Lancasheer; this is phy people call thim a county family. They own 63,869 acres, with a yearly rint ay about half-a-million. This, ay coorse, is a rough estimate; but it's not so rough on the Stanleys as it is on the wurkers ay Lancasheer, who have to find it for thim. There are over 100,000 half-timers in Lancasheer, an', as Lord Stanley sez, "every little helps." Knowsley Hall contains sum fine roses. The Stanleys are grate judges ay roses. In fact, they arose with the "War ay the Roses." As ye can't have a rose without a, thorn, so ye can't have a "War ay Roses" without a Stanley. As Scott sez, "On, Stanley, on ; charge, Chesther, charge I an' they're chargin' yet! Sir John Stanley, who mcd the house grate (I mane metaphorically) was appointed Lord-Deputy ay Ireland by Richard 11., who also gey him Castle Blake. He always picked the winnin' side. He knew Richard id get bate, so he jined Bolingbroke, who became Henry ill., an' appinted Stanley Lord Justice, Lord Lieutenant, etc. This'll account for the few left tenants in Ireland. Let's go back to the mid evil days. The third Earl is said to have spent the sum ay £4,000 a year on housekeepin'—a vast sum in those days. Did any postman say £50 per annum an' five childher ? Oh, the blackmailers ! Under Edward VI this gintleman advanced the Reformashun, undher Mary he delivered Protestants to be burned at the Stake, undher Elizabeth he hunted the Catholics to death. The seventh Earl will intherest the Bowton Conservative Clubs the most. Before the outbreak ay the Civil War he was regarded as a Puritan, but he jined the Ryalists. Afther the relief of Lathom House the Earl an' Prince Rupert attacked Bolton, took it by storm, an , then massacreed the townspeople. In the time ay William 111. the land tax was four shillings in the pound. The present tax paid by the Stanleys an' others amount to one-eighth ay a penny. In 1760 Lancashire produced £200,000. In 1860 it had grown to 85 million pounds. What is it to-day? An' have the Stanleys mcd it? Thrue, they had, by facin' both ways, an ,betrayin 5 certain kings, obtained the legal rights to say to the industhrious wurkers ay Lancasheer: "Before you have mills, mines, docks, warehouses, shops, homes, bury-holes, clothes, grub, post offices, municipal thrams, or railway stashions, you must, out ay yer daily toil, in heat or cold, rain or shine, well or ill, pay so much ay yer daily toil in the shape ay rint or taxes. Pay so much to mc, Lord Stanley, for a,v such is the Kingdom of Knowsley. A Lord thrives on rent, an' the Englishman loves to pay his rent. If the childher's shoes let wather in, let's run an' pay the rent. The child can have a pneumonia vacashun at the hospital. Ta ra ra boom de-ay, We've paid his rent to-day. The tailor sits in the garrett, cross stitchin', bastin', white, thread an' black, seamin , , pressin', sore-eyed, coughin' his life away. Giant Despair is in his heart as he drenches his couch with nightly tears. Twelve

To Whom Does She Belong?

thousand insane flotsam an' jetsam coAver behind the iron bars ay Prestwhich, Rainhill, Lancaster, an' Whittingham Asylums—products ay our grato systhn, ivry man for himsel' an' the divvle take the hindmost. The Liverpool docker tightens his belt to keep off the hunger wolf a' near, an' prays his brother ay the earth for leave to give him toil. The widow cries o'er her dead boy, in the Scotland Road slum, as she clasps him to her breast. Go back to yer wash tub, my good woman; Stanley's agint wants yer rent! The girl who's receivin' five or six shillins a week sells herself body an' soul. What wud ye have, Philbin— let us pay the rent, or we perish! The telegraph lad receives 5s weekly until he is sixteen., an' is then thrown off. However, he's paid the rent an' got a military thrainin'. Flesh an' blood is cheap everywhere, bar the House ay Lords. The motto ay the Stanley family is "Sans Changer." This means "Without change." The Lancasheer people don't like this motto, becaze it's left them "without change" all their life. The Stanleys are grate on litherachure, an' firm believers in "Chaucer," who won the Liverpool Cup for thim. This is not a Cantherbury tail. A Few More of the Same Clan. The Eitzroys own 32,000 acres ; yearly rental, £34,046. They're discinded from the vile Barbara Palmer, misthress ay Charles 11. Their motto is "The reward ay virtue.' 5 Verbum Sapolio. The Cokes own 43,024 acres in Norfolk ; yearly rental, £49,009. They are good people, considherin' their wealth. The Caseys, like Jack Point, are good for nothing. The Exeter Cecils own 55,368 acres, rental £49,287. Like the Bolton wurkin' men, they're sthrong Conservatives. The Duke ay Newcastle owns 34,467 acres, yearly rental £73, 098. Family motto, "Loyalty has no shame." Quite thrue! The Digbys own 60,736 acres; yearly rental, £57,700. The people on their estate lade the simple life. The Rutland Manners own 70,019 acres; yearly rental, £90,000. Wan ay thim was a poet, as follows :— jlet Jaws an' learnin', axt and commerce die. But la-ve us still our ould nobility. They won't lave us, till we make thim. The Salisbury Cecils are discinded from a Pharseein' publican. They own 20,202 acres, which, without the London property, brings in £33,413 yearly. They've attained fame thro' bein' related to A. J. Balfour. Arthur -James Balfour, the pride ay all wurkin' mm Conservatives, owns 73,792 acres in Scotland, also a bit ay property in London; has attained fame thro' being related to the Cecils. He is an ardent Conservative. Earl Grey owns 17,599 acres; yearly rental, £23,724. He is an ardent Liberal. Earl Delawarr owns 11,185 acres; yearly rental, £10,825. The fear of the Landlord is the Socialist vote. The Duke of Buccleuch owns twelve titles, fourteen residences, eleven Church livins, also 459,550 acres ; yearly rental, £231,205. He is a great frind ay the Duke ay Devonshire, who owns 126,904 acres; yearly rental ay £127,630. Three Dukes—Buccleuch, Devonshire and Muncaster—own the whole ay Barrow. They have mines at Barrow, an' they charge a, mmm' ryalty ay about four shillings an' threepence per ton. Five thousand Barrow wurkers sweated twelve months at the furnaces for £63,000. The three Dukes dhrew £126,000 for doin' nothin'. As the Jew mine-owner sed in "AH I vant ish mine own." Ah, yes! "Mine own." Thomas Dekker, an Elizabethan poet, wrote : Work apace, apace Honest labour wears a lovely face. Honest labour may ware a luvly face, but it doesn't ware such a luviy face as these three Dukes. Earl Fitzwilliam owns 114,441 acres; yearly rental, £136,239. The Hon. G. W. Fitzwilliam owns 23,318 acres; yearly rental, £39,547. A mimber a,v this family contested a Yorkshire eleckshtin, an' spent £100,000 thryin' to educate the voters to the Beerage—l mane Peerage. Earl Bathurst owns 13,312 acres; yearly rental, £19,954. He is a Conservative by birth, an' a landlord by educashun. Lennox, Duke ay Richmond, owns 286,409 acres; yearly rental, £79,671. We'll now speak. Fellow-counthrless mm, he's got it. The Abergavenny Nevills own 28,127 acres; yearly rental, £29,219; also twenty-four Church livins. As the nursery rhyme has it: Pout an' twenty bla,ckbirds Tellin' us a lie. Like the Duke ay Devonshire, he believes in Free Thrade an' "Protection" ay his land.

The Marquis ay Londonderry owns 73,763 acres; yearly rental, £91,631. How much land does a man need ? Six feet, Tolstoi. Byron is responsible for the followin' pome to his anchesther:— So Cas'tlereag'h. has cut his throat —the worst Of tihis is that his own was not the first. The Duke ay Northumberland owns 186,397 acres; yearly rental, £176,048. Tho' they are not Percys exactly, they have been very Percyverin'. Earl Amherst owns 7633 acres: yearly rental, £8763. As this is hardly sufficient, he is helped from the taxes at the rate ay £3,000 a year. I'm glad sum ay the unemployed are gettin , a bit. The Finches ay Aylesford own 19,286 acres; yearly rental, £32,157. As the head of this family is in debt, it wud be unbecomin' to chaff Finch. The Duke ay Westminster owns 30,000 acres in Cheshire, also five hundherd in London. His income is fabulous. He has recently bought sum in Africa. When the childher grow up, Pholbin, an' emigrate, they'll find his agent sittin' on a kopjee holdin' out his hand. As soon as the agint seems thim cummin' he'll shout, "Hello I kopjee agin! Get yer hand down!" An' they'll be so down-hearted, they'll say, "Oil, ye can't alter things ; our fathers wor the same." But the man who says "ye can't alter things" is one ay the things. The Beresfords own 175,628 acres. This family dhrew £916,454 from the Irish Church in thirteen years. Dear, dear, an' Keir Hardie tould mc thirteen was an unlucky number! Oh, Lord Charles! A life on the ocean wave, An' plenty a/v land .at home. (To be continued.)