AN ANTI-CHURCH TROMBONE PLAYER.

Mt Benger Mail, Volume V, Issue 261, 13 December 1884, Page 5

AN ANTI-CHURCH TROMBONE PLAYER.

There died at Carthage, Illinois, not long* » e o, a men whose peculiarities will long be remembered by the ptople of that town. His; name w»s Eh Willi»ms, and he was 82 year* old when he dropped dead while walking in hi* yard. For more that forty years he was the{ Ullage tailor, and he lived in the aame littla vine-covered, white-washed cottage for mora than half a century. Many years ago he go* into a dispute with the trustees of the Presbyterian Church which adjoined his little home, and from that time was a violent and outspoken dnbeliever in religion. To get even with the church Williams devised ft diabolical scheme which nearly drove everybody iu the village crazy. He armed himself with a b'g trombone, not the sliding kind, but one of thoee old-fashioned brass horns with about seven yards of brass coiled up, and which he slipped over his shoulders when he played. Every Sunday morning at Church time old Eli woald begin to play on his trombone, and he kept it up till the services were ended. As soon as the minister rose in the pulpit and gave out the I morning bymo there eame wailing out from the ; windows of the little cottage across the way, in Ijoud. defiant blasts, " The Rogues' March." !He followed this with such soul-stirring tunes as " Yankee Doodle." " Hail Columbia, l ' and ;•• Bonnie Doou," and repeated the programme over and over until the congregation was disi raided. He never le-rnt any new tune*, but ! played the same old airs Sunday after Sunday for nearly twenty vears. Threats, entreatiee, and bribes failed to move the old man, and he •kept up tLe mournful and heart-breaking cot* certs until the valves of his trombone gave QU% end he was obliged to abandon the fightTO KEEP YOUNG. Avoid dyspepsia. j lay with the children. Shun the " problems ,: novel. Don't watch for gray hain. Never dissect your emotion!. Take exercise for suppleness. Cultivate ac impersonal hobby. Never lose sleep withoot making it up, Decline to think of yourself as elderly. Don't fall very deeply iu love until you have been asked to do so Never, never, never decline to do anything on the ground of advancing years. And never, never, never say to yourself: " J felt so once, bat am too old to now," Titian was polite to bis wife. It is said be never entered her room without bowing, and always rase whtn she entered his. Despite its feminine name, Aliceton, Wisconsin, has the distinction of being the oaly town ia the country without one woman inhabitant. otih DIDN'T LIKE THE MAN. He i Haag it all, I can't turn the fellow out of the aouse. Besides, I ean never make oat why you dislike him so. He's one of the best fellows going She: Well, I shall be glad wnen he's * «J fta beat I alio we *oae.