Nothing of the Sort.

Manawatu Times, Volume 64, Issue 303, 23 December 1939, Page 10

Nothing of the Sort.

“Then you admit that you struck the plaintiff with malice aforethought?” demanded counsel of the man charged with assault. “\ou can’t mix me up like that,” replied the defendant indignantly. ‘‘l've told you twice I liif him with a brick. There wasn’t no mallets nor nothing of the kind about—just a plain brick, like auy gentleman would use.” Sarcastic. Two Highland fishermen were lounging on the pier. Suddenly Dougal asked: “Man, Donald, what is that drifting about in the bay?” “Ach, yon’s a board,” said Donald, sleepily. “Will yon be the Board of Agriculture?” said Dougal, facetiously. “No,” said Donald, decisively, “yon’s no’ the Board of Agriculture. Yon thing’s moving.”

Proving It. The tailor was selling his friend a suit. “I’m telling you, Harry,” he said, “that even your best friend wont recognise you in that suit! Just take a walk outside for a minute and get the feel of it. ’ ’ Harry went out and returned a moment later. The tailor rushed up to him with a smile. “Good-morning, stranger,” he beamed. “What can I do for you?” Third Time Counts. Mr. Jones came down to breakfast in a very bad temper. “It’s no good!” he stormed at his wife. “I’m not going to give that new chauffeur notice. That’s twice Inf’s nearly killed me.”

“Oh, darling,” said his wife, “couldn’t you give him another chance? ’ *