HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 64, Issue 303, 23 December 1939, Page 10

HUMOUR

The Limit. * Two actors met in the street. “Fancy meeting you, old chap,” said the first. “I thought you were doing a season with a touring company.” “I finished last week,” said the other. “I couldn’t stand it.” “What!” exclaimed the first. “You mean you quit?” flj| “I had to,” he replied. “I didn’t ■ mind it so much when they stopped paying salaries. And when tlg& printing company refused us further credit, Rud we had to rely on gossip to advertise the show, I was not greatly upset. But when the electric company turned off the power and we started to use glowworms for footlights, I quit!”

Muddled. The conjurer was being married to a pretty actress. They had reached that part of the ceremony when the clergyman called for the ring. The bridegroom put his hand absently into one pocket and brought out a rabbit. “Pardon,” he said. “Wrong act!**

Too Busy. The small girl met the doctor near her home. “You brought a little baby next door, didn’t you?” she inquired. “Yes,” he answered. “Shall I bring one to your house?” “No, thanks,” came the prompt reply. “Why, we’ve scarcely time to wash the dog.” Examples. A ten-years-old schoolboy was being put through his home lessons by his father, who, as spelling was the subject, wanted to do it thoroughly and make sure that the youngster understood the meanings of the words. When the boy had successfully negotiated the word “plague,” he was asked, “What is a plague?” “Well, dad,” he said, ‘it’s rather difficult. A plague is just a plague.” “Come on,” said his father; “you ought to know that there can be all sorts of plagues—a plague of ants, for

“Oh, yes!” said the boy, with the glint of mischief in His eyes. “I know —Aunt Betty, Aunt May, Aunt Sheila, and all the others.”