Page 2 Advertisements Column 4

Manawatu Times, Volume IV, Issue 75, 29 September 1880, Page 2

A Hint to Ecclesiastics.— At the prqcathedral m the capital of one of the Australian Coloniea, the congregation is larger on the celebration of a fashionable wedding than upon ordinary occasions of Sunday worship. On one d**y lately a nuptial ceremony was to take place. The bells rang out — seats and aisles were crowded — choir and organiat m great force. All went as usual, pleasantly until m the middle of the service the parson, whosejhead was level, announced, "A collection will now be made." He made that congregation look funereal m five seconda. Lovely Woman Bars the Way. — A clergyman has forwarded to the Archbishop of York a protest, m which he says : " Having read an announcement m the newspapers that your Grace proposes to consecrate Dr. Charles Ryle a Bishop on St. Barnabas'a Day, I venture to draw your attention to St. Paul's express statement that a Bishop ' must be . . . the husband of one wife' (Ist Tim. iii. 2), on which I wouH respectfully remark that, if thia apostolic law does not mean one and one only, and not one after the other, it has no meaning at 'all, for it would then imply that a perjon not a Bishop might have two or more wives at the same time. Now as Dr Ryle his married four wives m sucession, it appears to myself aDd to many others that your Grace, as guardian o.f the truth m the Province of York, might with no impropriety interpose your high authority and desist from consecrating that clergyman because of this undoubted bar." The Perfect. Cure.— A correspondent signing himself " Eclectic," has favoured the Morning Herald, Dunedin, "with one of the most extraordinary and out- | rageous effusions ever seen m a public journal. He offera a remedy for the present distress j it consists of killing off the overaged, drunken, and otherwise improvident, or diseased membera of the oommunity; ! denies that man haa a soul, and would not permit the growth of large families of children. " It would," ' Eclectic, says, " be much more rational to authorise the destruction of children whose parents are either unable or unwilling to feed and clothe them. We constancy pursue, this, course with the young of our dogs, and cats, s-n 1 I yet these ajiimala io many of their functions have higher qualities than ourselves," and so on. If " Echct" means what he says, he should be see Ito at one.. He is suffering from a dis >rder that ought to lead him to the nearest asylum for incurable idiots ; or, tilting his own theory, he should form the first sacrifice. Natural dilution of Milk.— lt is told of a French padre, hearing the confession of a groom, that he incredulously asked, "Do you not grease the hones' teeth P" '■*" No," said Petit Jean, but, ever aFter, that was part of hia confession. He found that with greased teeth there t were larger mange;- perquisites m unoonsumed oat.™ Apropos of this " JEg'ee " im- , parts a wr"nkle about blue milk. A friend of mine who ban ojws of his own, was talking on the question of the diluted article to a'proaperove milkman |wlio spurned tbe idea of watering the milt, " Because," said iie " it is {to muo i easier to water the cows and act honestly." His 3ystem was to give the cows a bucket of slightly warm water, with a little oatmeal thrown m, shortly before milling. He increased the yield at the cos 1 - of the quality, satisfied hia couscieuce, lived m the odour ot sanctity, uud made just as much money as. the vulgar fellows who barefacedly carried their pails to the pump. An Infant Phenomenon.. — Another case of Siamese tirins is reported. An I English ptpor says : — A birth of . an extra - ' ordinary character has occurred m tbe small I fishing place of Instow, North Devon. A poor woman, the wife of a thatcber named Graydon, has just given birth to female babies joined together, or rather incorporated, from the breasts down to the abdomen. Thay are perfect m every respect else, haying a liea,d each and two hands, two legs and trunk, and it is believed a separate existence. They lie m b.ed beside the mother, facing each other, and are very much alike. They are well and healthy, but are slightly thinner than when they ware born a day or two ago. The mother < does not think oi\e of th^m vriil live, and | ahe is anxious least one should die an.i the other live. The neighbours and local doctors however, believe the infanta will live. It is a more wonderful case titan the Siamese twins, and is exoiting great interest m the neighbourhood. TheQTy Of Life.— The kte Professor Farraday adopted the theory that thn natural age of a man is 100 years. The duration of life |'ie believes to be maa tired by . the time of "his growth. In the camel the union takes place at eight, the horse at five, m the lion at four, m. the dog, at two, m the rabbit at one. The natural termination is five removes from these several points. Man being twenty years m growing, lives five times t'< • ity that ■ 100; the cam lis eight years m growing, and lives 40 years ; and so on with other, animals. T.he man wl\o does not di,* «f sickness lives everywhere from 8.0 to 100, years. The Professor divides life into equal halves— growth and decline— and these into infancy, youth, virility, and age. Infancy extends to the twentieth year, youtfy to the. fj'fti* > tb i , be,-! cause it is m thia period the tissues become firm; virility from fifty to seventy-five, during which the organism remains complete; and at seventy-five old age commences to last a longer or shorter time, as the diminutisu of reserved lives is hastened or retarded.