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Manawatu Times, Volume IV, Issue 74, 25 September 1880, Page 2

Danger Signal. — A tall stalwart gentleman (says tbe Sydney Bulletin) who is well known on Moore Park where the colour of his locks corresponds with the. warmth of his temper, thrust his head out of the window of a stationary train angrily, demanded of the guard " why the train was not going ou ?" the guard quietly respended • "Oh, put your head m • how d'ye think the train's to go ahend when the danger signal is a sticikin' out ?" That crestfallen footballer's look was a study. He is now known as the " danger signal." Important to' Vocalists.— A new invention, m the shape of a resonator, formed of a couple of gold plates, which can be place m the mouth of & singer or public speaker, is, according to report likely jto produce a revolution m vocal performances. The inventor, Signor Bach, has recently exhibited the article m London, and showed that by its use a renmrkabl« increase m volume and body of sound o»» be obtained. He remains that it will enable conductors to produce powerful effects with a small number of choralists. The invention has been highly commended by some of the greatest authorities. A Short Sermon.— Those who aimire brief sermons will pcrhnps think the following one by a quiet Quakeress worthy of approbation : — " Dear friends, there are threw things which I very much wonder at The first is that children should be bo fool, ish a» to throw stoves, clubs, bricks, ansticks up into fruit trees to knock down fruit ; if tkey would let it alono it would fall itself. The «econd it that men should be so foolish a» to go and kill each other j if let alone they would die themselves. And the third and last thing that I wonder at is that young men should be so foolish as to go after young women ; if they would stay at home, the young women would come after them." A Jockey's Perquisites,— Tho«e who know Archer,. the jockey, §ay that, iby his extraordinary instinct, h» is enabled ta estimate, not only the powers of the horse which he rides, but he can accurately judge of tho capabilities of His competitors. The income of a good jockey is at least equal to that of the Lord High Chancellor of England — £10,000 a-year. Archer receives a retaining free from the Duke of West. minister amounting to £1000 t-yoar, simply to ride m any race either of his Grace's steeds that may be selected. This says nothing of fees, or of the nettings which a man proficient m knowledge make out of judicious bets. Archer's income last year h&s been estimated at £11,000, and tbis year it is not likely to be lesi. A Modest Request,— Here ais r« gem cut from a recent issue of the London Times. "To philosophers and philanthropists of substantial means with no immediate kin.— A young gentleman, ju»t nineteen, who fe«l» he has very good natural abilities for a scholar, philosopher, and statesman, wishes to become acquainted with •ome one of the above who would adopt him, to give him every advantage to cultivate hiuielf m a superior manner, and would subsequently place him (after due knowledge and experiences, of his character and ability) m substantially independent circumstance* that he may employ himself m promoting the well-being of his fellow-country-men. Applicant « thoughtful, conicientious, energetic, persevering, methodical, modest, and very temperate.— Address, to arrange for interview, H792, Address, and Inquiry Ofiiee, the" Times, 8.C." I A Run Of Luck. — A Ballaratjexohange j mentions : — " There was a fortunate [ kiitjin.ee connected with a recent lottery.

The promoter, Major Smith, paffled uonie property, the first prize being a mansion and grounds, This fir-sfc prize was drawn by Major Smith himself, who however, returned it to be redi'awn, on condition lhat tlio wmuer " paid for untold tickets m the lottery." The drawing had not proceededfar when the No. 1 prize was drawn to ticket No. 1384, an unsold ticket, and; therefore again the property of the Major, who was, of course, entitled to the prize. Major Smith, however , decided to replace the marble m the box, and stated that he would do so on the understanding that ih foregoing his claim to it he would expect that the. winner of the first . pi'ize should repay him the £5 70 expended m the ~ purchase of th» unsuld tickets, «nd the pwze marble would bo returned to the box. This was agreed to by the committee, and gave satisfaction to all concerned. , ; The Hoxton Murder Confession.; — rAfter>.he lapse of .eight yeara, during which the murderer of an old lady and' her daughter who kept a newsvenclor's shop m Hoxton (Londou) has remained undiscovered, it is now reported that a young man, aged twentyeight, a . convict m -Portsmouth pr-isop, where he is undergoing five years' penal servitude 1 for passing counterfeit coin, has confessed to the prepetration of the murder. His statement, taking down m writing; has has beon sent to the Home Office. It may be remembered- that one morning m July,: 1872, the old lady and her daughter; were found with their skulls, battered m, -without, so far as could be asscertained, any assignable cause, such as robbery or burglary, and all the inquires instituted by the police did not throw uny light on the tragedy, although evidence was given by a cabman, who vru passing the shop at the time, to the effect lhat a young man was seen to hurriedly leave the premises. The statement supplier! to th*- Home Secretary is very lengthy, and and enters into every detail connected with the murder, and the circumstances which led to its perpetration. It was made voluntarily, and is understood to show that tb # it was not premeditated. American Enterprise. — Jtmos Grordon Bennett, they say, is about to start a chain of two-cent morning papers; extending across the Continent from New York to San Francisco, which are to have the benefit of the ifsraZd telegrams and correspondence, and to be under the general management of John Russell Young. There is nothing improbable m this. The JS~ew- York Herald, which lias probably a larger and better business than all the other New York paper* combined, has its own special correspondents everywhere, spends enormous" iumi m special despatches, and only realises m full the return for these expenditures within the comparatively limited area where it can be di'stribhted en the morning of publica-i. tion. Outside, of that, the Herald* news becomes the capital of local papers. A chain of Sera Ms m all the principal cities across the Continent could all avail themselves of the enormous expenditure of the parent paper, and could m each city, with tho advantage thus given, distance all competitors and concentrate the business just as the Herald has done m Tfew York, /while m 'return, the ' income which they would yield would permit even more lavish expenditure for news. There would be little risk m this. Summed up Correctly. — The Age, writing about' Mrs Greet 1 , the heroine ©f the Melbourne Opera House catastrophe, says the expressions reported as used by her indicate such a total absence not only of all wifely symp»thy, but of womanly feeling, that it is impossible to .believe, her not to "be affected with a species of insanity. It must rest with pathologist* to locate and describe the disease, which perhaps has a ph ysielogical basis for its mental manifestations. There ie a petrifying coldness m her reported references to her husband, whom she bad driven into crime, which it is scarcely possible to reconcile with bis endearing tenderness for her. By her undisguised devotion to the man who had wronged and destroyed him, she exhibits a spectacle of spiritual distortion at which it. is repulsive even to glance m the most superficial manner. Either by some misfortune the sense of moral distinction m her has been obliterated, or else we have discovered a woman without ' purity, without the dimmest desire for decency, or the faintest tinge of shame— » creature of lawless lust and reckless hardihood of sin. It is just possible that there may be at intervals m the moral as m material spheres, misshapen births, m which the purpose's of beneficent nature are set cruelly away ; but no dwarfed or deformed body, be it ever so un- ; sightly, could awaken m the beholder such loathing and abhorence as this mockery of womanhood. A Royal Bengal Tiger.— One time there was a man which had a tagger it was a shb, and the man tuke the money for to get m. The man he had a big paper nailed on to the tagger's den, and the paper it said, the paper did:— ''The Roil Bengal Tagger, sometimes cald the Monnei'k of the Jungle. Hands off. No Techin the Tagger ! The Monnerk of the Jungle it was always layih down with its nose 'tween its poz, and the fokisi wich had paid for to get m thay was mad cos it,; wudent wock, and rore like dissant thunder. But the sho man he said :— ! " That's ol lite done, but this is the ease. When I get the the new cage which the new fellor broke out of m Oregon, time he et up them 17 men and their families — , — " then the fokes thay ; wude ol stand back and tock m whispers while the tagger slept. But one day» a feller which was drunk he.tuke to punchn the tagger with the- masthead of his umhreller,;: which stampeeded the oddience wild, and the wimmin fokes they^ stud onto chairs and ; 1 hollei'ed like it was a mouse, but the drunk chap he kep a jobbin the monnerk itbellred offle and riggled, but the feller kep a pokn like he was fireman to a steam engin. Bimeby the monnerk it jumped onto its hind feets and shucked itself out of its skin, and roled up its sleefs, spit on to its hands, and shouted out — •" I bedam if I cant jest wholliph the pea green stuffin out o' the gum-lasted galoot wich has been a proddin this ere tagger! And the oddience they was a iteniah ! I A Tiny- Couple. — Q-ermany can justifiably boast of having produced the smallest married couple that ever stood before an altar, m the person of a miniature " Marquis " and " Marchioness, " who have for some time past been exhibited on the Place dv Theatre, at Odessa. The " Marquis " a native of Kiel, is 30 years old, and weighs only 19 pounds, while his fairy-like consort, a young lady, born m Neumunster, some 22 years ago, just turns' the scale at IS pounds. At a first glance this tiny pair, it is said, might be taken for a couple of scarcely-weaned babies, dressed up for a joke m the garb of adults; but, on closer examination, the genuineness of their maturity becomes unmistakably apparent. A certain pleasant flavour of romance runs through the circumstances that led to their union. Although they are both Grermanyborn wonders, leased by their parents to travelling showmen at an early *ge, they never happened to meet at the fairs and Kermesson of their, native land ; but a year [ ago, the " Marquis " being on exhibition at Moscow, while Fraulein Liili was star- | ring at St. Petersburg, they became aware I of one $nqtb t «r's t througji reasn£

the newapxprv notice of tbaip rwp#cfciTe characteristics, itnd entered into a correspondence which soon led to~ a rendezvous, and ultimately to the contraction, of a matrimonial engagement. Now they take their professional rounds together, and are saving up their earnings with the objects of retiring into. private life m the Father-land. Nuremberg could, doubtless, supply them with, the mostcharming of doll's houses, tmiDeiifcly suited to their minute domestic requirements.