OFF LIKE A BIRD.

Manawatu Times, Volume III, Issue 112, 31 January 1880, Page 2

OFF LIKE A BIRD.

Mr. Francis Haines i* a gentleman of the old school, and though ha evidently recognises the value of steam upon an emergency, he would seem to hp oblivious of the power of the electric wire. Although hail ing from the land of " roa^fc beef," Francis holds foreign ideas upon the treatment of the weaker ste 1 * by the" lords of creation, and believes the Hn*sian.'.B. treatment of his wife to bo the proper one — thrash her continually, so that she may grow fonder of you. Unfortunately Mr. Haines' better half did not approve of this modus operandi for the creation of lovo, and so an appeal was made to the " Powers that bo" for. protection, who impertinently interfered with what he considered his rested right, and the -32gis of tho Police Court for a time held the person of the lady sacred from punishment. Francis bowed his head-in meek submission to a {tower stronger than his, and bore with becoming fortitude the unduo interference with what he dee.rn.ed; to be his mnrifcnl privilege. But. the hand which had ba^tov^ed so many favors itched to be at ita ojd work ngain ; m an evil hon,r. he placed himself within tho pala of the law, and outraged Justice called him. to her court. Thursday was the day o.n which the Blind Groddess hud, demanded an appearance ; the. lady appeared and told her t:>lo of woe, but tho delinquent was conspicuous by his absence. This was 4 1 insult, not to be tolerated, and an order wac issued for his lodgment m th,a dungeons of Wangamii for six ea'e idar months. Fearing that the ordeal would no.fc result m his favor, Francis ma do preparations for a hasty d«parti\re, and five min,ntes after the sentence was recorded he was on his way to Foxton, as fast as steam an,d, iron, rails could carry him. Arrived it his dostination/ho repaired to the first inn fco celebrate !m escape, and, victory, but " man proposes, and Q-od disposes." Before 'to had fcimo to throw himself o,ntside of 1 \* favorite beverage, tho. electric current had done its work — a messenger m blue was at his side, anxious for hia company, and two hours later ho was returning m tho hands of his captor, a sadder, wiser, and more sober man. The curtu'n has fallen; the wooden portals of the Northern stockade have t'losod upon another, poor prisoner.; an,d for the next six moons a considerable reduction m the consumption of Pulmerato.n beer will be the result ; and the person of his victim safe from castigntion.