MARK TWAIN AND THE PRESIDENCY.

Manawatu Times, Volume III, Issue 94, 22 November 1879, Page 4

MARK TWAIN AND THE PRESIDENCY.

Mart Twain has published the following "open letter ". to his coMu.trymen "of either or any party"":— l lnuve pretty much made up my mind to; riia fov Eresi- -• tleut.\ What, the country wants is a'eandi- ■ diils wlio cannot be injured by investigation of his past history, so that the enemies of tbo party w^i be unp.ble to rake up any-' •ihir.^f against him thafc Bobody e-ver heard .of before. If you know the worst about a cnndWate, Ap, begin with,~every attempt to spring things on him will be checkmated. j\ T o\r lam going to enter the field with a open record. lam going to own. up m ftdyanco to all the wickedness: I have done, | nni if any Congressional committee is die? j posed to prowl around' my 'biography m the of discovering any dark and deadly deed that Ihnve secreted, why— let it prowl. In the first place, I admit that 'I treed a rheumatic grandfather of mine m the win.jter.of 1850. He was old and inexperV-in trees, but "wibh the lie:irtless bru*.tl.'ih* that is charac-tcrish'ff of me, I run him out of the front. door m. his nterht-shirt «t t!fp. p-»int. of a shot-gun and caused him to bowl up a mnple tree, where - lie remnined nil nijjnf, while lempHc'l sjuit iiifo liislegs. I did this beraused ho snored. I will do it n(j»jiii. if over I hire nnoliier _g»findfither. 'I"anf as inhumnn n>w iii in' tSSO. I cauili'.liv neluiowledqe t-hi\t. I van away at tlie l^attlc of GettybtMij-jr. Mr friends liava 1-rie.l 'o smooth oxev t.he, fact b_v asserting, tbtt T did so for the pin-pose of" imitating Wj-i'iin^ton, who went into the woods nt Valley Forgo £or tho purpose of saving his prayer*. It wna. -a- miserable .-subterfuge. I struck out m a str.iighfc li.ie for the Tropic of -OiJncer hifcau^ . T was scared. I W!uiio'l my oountrv^aTe.'l;.. but I preferred •to have somebody else save it-. I, entertain ibat. prefeivonfeyetT If bhbble . .Cm be obtained only at, t^e cannon's moutli T am willing to go .tU«re. fo*' it,; provided iha cAuabdf'ii einptv. . H it is ioiided, my ■ immnral nncl iuStexiblc purpose is to get over thtffonjc an'l'go Homa. iVI? invariable .praciii'e m vrnr bad been to b ring out of every n'ir'il .twn-tbirde 'lisore u)en than when j Wnt; m. f J'!ii? s'eonw. l'»"mt« to bp.Napoleonic m it< grimdeur. ' My financial views are ■'of. tho most. de«M'ded ch'tractei*, Ixit they are jiot likely, perhaps, to increase my .popuJarty -with, advocates of inflation. Ido not iusisfc on special supretnacy of rag money on Kinit'v.' The grant fundamental principle .of m v life , i^- ( o talw any kind I can got. Tlie rumor that I buried a dead aunt, uu'der my ernpo vine was correct. The vino, needed fertilising, niv aunl bad to bu' buried, and I dedicated her to this high purpose. Does £hat unfit me for ihe Pre.*idency ? . The Consfitu'tion' qr'ouVcburtt.ry daes not sny : co. No other citizen was ever considered unworfy of this office because .Iw^ricb'ojl .his grftpe-viries with- his . dead Why should I be. selected as tbo fh>t victim of nn-abMfrrl fprpjudiee ? - .1 adulitalso that lam not a friend to the poor man. I segnrd the poor man m bis present condition, as so-much w.asted ra«" m'at^rial. : Cut up aHd properly canned, be'iTiight be made T:s<?fu! to fatten, the natives of the Cannibal Islands, and. to improve an expo.rt trade ** 'tli that region. 1 shall recommi»nd legisl«*,i»n upon the subject m my fi^t mnasttga. My campnign cry wil be : — " Desiccate ihs poor working man : stuff biro into snusagos." i'hese are nbou.l: the, worst, \virl* .of my. repord.. On them I come before the j^ojuntry. Ir my country dim't want me I'll go back agnin. But T recommend mysel Fas a safe man. — a man who starts from the basis of ft>tfil deornyity and proposes to be fiendish tr> tho last.— Bri"f. '■•- * ""*''.