UNDER THE MICROSCOPE.

Manawatu Times, Volume III, Issue 50, 18 June 1879, Page 2

UNDER THE MICROSCOPE.

. -. r.i — •» ■ . BT- ..-^AG.G-OTHO.. ~

.'•"."i-^ — - • : » . . — - - ■ "A duel's- amang ye takin' notes, An' faith he'll prent 'em"

PINED POR BEINO " ON THE SQUARE." It is said that one man's meat is another man's poison,' -and ; apparently - what _ is a matter for commendation m a, biped is. one for punishmeritin a quadruped, otherwise it seems, somewhat- odd that repeated injunctions should be made to the one to '.'live 'on the Square," while with the other a mere temporary .occupation, is guffirient to bring the urifoitunate animal within the pale of the law." At "a recent sitting of the Police Court the owners of a number of perepatetic. were mulcted m various sums for the vagrant propensities of the equines, which caused them to cull pabulurri fromjhe newly grass-sown Square •of the town, y TO BEE, -OR TO LET THEM BE. 'Conside.-able .amusement ;,(to those not immediately concerned) was occasioned a few days sihce.jx.p6n witnessing the transposition of cekain packages of lug£,nge from a conveyance to the Palmerston goods sheds. Of course m the; removal the luggage necessarily- got ' shaken, when there emerged a perfect swarm of bee 3, which, i>s one man; " went " straight for Mr. Ayers, the unlucky individual who had dared to disturb their rest. Iri vain he fought the unequal fight, hitting out right and left, until at last, overpowered by numberi, he did, what many i hero has done before— beat a hasty and active retreat. When a safe distance had been placed between himself and the enemy, he pulled himself togetherto count? 'the effects of the ba.tle, only to discover that the attentions of one male combatant had erected *a porticj over his eye. As the swarm , held undisputed possession of the shed to the interference of business, tbestation-master tried to put on Ayers " to resume the attack and dislodge them, butrno doubt owing to the damage clone to bis; optic, that- genfclerann '.«■ could'nt, see '■*&,". responding-, with some asperitv-that lii? Biiperi ir might have a turn, and see whether he wouldn't, cat eh m, before he had " caugM-lleml" At this stage of the proceedings}: the owner— a dirty looking foreigner, with a coating pf filth upon his hands and face so thick that it looked like as if he were going to be baked Gypsy-fa-shion, came to the rescue and recaged the diminutive ; combatants, the layer and crust of the dirt, being impervious to the stings of his pets. THB ORGANS PLAT A>piPFERENT TUNE. " A fellow feeling makes us wondrous kind." Mis fortune— like travellers— meets wita'strange bedfellows, and the troublous times through' whioh both are pasting: have raised a sympathetic; echo, and touched a tender, chord, between the Squealer, and its erstwhile stinger, the Viper, of Marton. It is a decided case of " Claw me anH I'll claw, you," the former is, going for the Moi-imubu route, and the latter advocating the Foxton line. -.; But; itasrpot only^in mntters.publ'n. that ari ihlenie \cordidle has b een entered into, an Unholy Alliance has been sworn, and the . private grievances of both have been made thejcommpn pause of . each. In ■ one- sense >th*B<a most convenient arrangement, as the vera s,ipaU stock, of orijinalitr possessed between tlie .two has become common property, apd consequently; when tome psenrto-eornaexnt has astounded some dozen people of Foxton, it is, reproduced by the newly-sworn ally at Marton. Then, again, when the Viper Attacks The Times, the Squealer takes up the refrainlauc'J "evotepjits valuable (?) space to what will pr>ve a saving to its feebie'enerffies or a drain upon its mental resources. The. organs have bpen set to one tune fo» some time now, Hut the moment it become*, unprofitable, or the people who be3tow the pennies object, a change of harmony, mar be looksd for. .'■ A BLIND- NUT; The Ring- Tailed has donned the cop and bells and tries to -be face'ious, but it is needless to say that the -effort has proved a miserable .fa'iiirai, It offered its empty nut to the shillelagh of " -Mngs*ufi}n," but that yeteran ! like- a true Milesian declines to sully the" national weapon upon such an insignificant object. The varied martial experiences of "•Magguffin,'' have taught him that while the vulnerability of a man lies m his head, the? weik spofc'of the niguer i* > his. shins, and fcha snake— et hoc genus.omne2— in-theV tails'..' A riod is as good as a wink to a blind horse, and the, explanation may warn the Squealer to look after to caudal appendage, or. the, parttcular- portion adjacent thereto. : . When night drops. ' its ; mantle, apd dark cloudsi arise,.;..;;..;"";"^. '•' ''■■' ■ y■' Tha writers, that would be, their, vile.' trash compose, Iriapiratibu frbiri Ate they seek, nor despjse, The prompting of malice which frorii „. '^y||^n > |i'^ \ :

Ip that vile throng of scribblers, the chief m the e'au, ■ .- < Has much of the Squealer, but nought of the Man, A scribe— yet a Pharisee- ne'er known to fail In the depth of his malice, or the length of his. tail. • ... '