UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

Manawatu Times, Volume III, Issue 31, 2 April 1879, Page 2

UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

"A chiel's amang ye takin' notes, . An' faith he'll prent 'em."

! He. was happy to oblige, anil his heart was in his work. I was strolling upon the platform of the ata^on during .the week, Tyhen, I chanced. to n^eet a certain f unc* I tionary from Foxton, - whose attentions, like those of %h^ buj2aT i d, are devoted <;o; ■ the dead rather than the living, and the ; following dialogue ensued :—"■ Good morni'ingj Doctor;" lt Good morning- 'Sir."; ; " Up ;to hold" an inquest ?■" " Ts6, SJr, I sjjij not; 1 but there is one inquest. upon w,nichit would give me the greatest pleasure and satisfac- ■ tion to officiate." To relish th«i grimirpny^ of the \jrilf, the. earnosteesß^ -of? : sKi~' doctor,'and the favor to be bestowed, the reac&r , | must be made aware of the love he bears to : the. editor of this- journal, and also that, 'at . the time of ; his remark* the object of the kind; attentian hove in sight.

The Patea West Boad B,oard has taken a leaf'ou.tof the. book of our own Wardens, and published the.names of defaulting ratepayers., Judging." from, the amounts sued foij, ev % en,if e^ery item w.ere collected, there is npt much likelihood of the board's treasury: being much, pollen. There are abpujt foo' hupdreid names oh the list, and out of,- the. lpjj thehighgst claim fetor e^erenpen/je, #ie. Ringing dhe penny uji, to fivey rarely passing '81^61106. Imagine, the. feelings of; a man whose liability w,as\ a, penny, or. even,' two. being mulcted ip, costs ip tha 'tuhe~ of seyeiror eight shillings, but. certainly if those. tWeatened are brought, to, Court the. l<egal expenses will hefidiy twenty times as much a3 the original claims. Such^ h,ojrevejr.is qne of the blessings of the, law,.

It is a pretty general, but apparently erroneous, belief that th^Spns of iVeptune are by no means Centaurs w t hen placed in the .saddle, as any one would qonfess ware 'he to see- young l/ieiifcenant Hobb3, of the Horse Marines, Btart off upon, the. n<iwlymade road to Ashurst. I. said start o$; but were the .same beholder to witness his return also, he_ would best describe it as "setting out like a lion, and coming home lik.e a lamb " — sheep would be more strictly correct, : After the. young herb had gone half a do«en of miles, his pace considerably slackened till a dead stop was accomplished. He dismounted to tighten the saddle-band of his horse, tut instead of re-mounting he 1 proceeded to walk along the newly-metalled' road, stumbling and swearing at each step, his. only reply £q a question for the cause b,aing, ".A merciful man is merciful td'his beast." As H.bb,b3 is ab.out six' stone in his .large. riding h.oots^and quotation yfas jerked' eut in anything but a Ohristian' manner, there, were: some amongst his companions who doubtfsd the. bona fides ,of the. reply.' When t!he" beast had been sufficientlj! rested, his services were again brought vafa requisition, for a few inilesipore, when an^otlier descent fronc^ his back : was' made, this, time for. good, and horge •and owner performed the rest of the. journey at a slo^, yery slqw, walk. "Again questioned u,pon such singular cenduct, Hobbs'promptly replied, "Oh, it's my liver, j riding' always njak;es me ff el bad about the liTer." Of'

course^politeness; forbade* the. utterance^f v a doubt," but one of hi« icompani6nß^u|ps' 1 ' noticing the very careful manner 'in jimck he assumed a 'sitting position, was heard-to remark, aotto iooe, that "apparently the j situation of Hobbs's liver was quite different from that of the ordinary ruck of humanity.'* ■'

tAj the vagaries of Sarrant-galiam. i» fr , good. stock subject, and it is fcshion»lile!.to r haye a dig at Mary Jane, I. niost heed/i do -1 violence, to my feelings; and retail the following anecdote, which is too good to be lost. This time the story comes fron* Marton. Mrs. Sweetly advertised for « maid, and in response a young lady dreued in the height of the fashion made application. As her appearance was good, and her references better, the engagement ww about to be- entered upon, when the. applicant asked that she should be allowed one hour in the day time three times a week. Mrs. S. replied that she could have leave every night, but was informed that union it were granted' in the day time it would beof no use. As the family, consisted of herself and her daughter, Mrs. S. thought th»,< .concession might be granted without any I very great inconvenience, and the. terms were agreed to, Mary Jane took poMession^ and notwithstanding that she religiously absented hi&reelf at the times stipulated for, : she gay* considerable satisfaction. Mrs.. Sweetly had a woman's curiosity" to know the peculiar business -which called: her. inaid away with such regjabwity, but the young lady had l.an, indescribably some* fchingjibout her whicl^f-eneUect imjON^uient questioning. One dayvhowe-yei^ $b£ inys«v tery was unravelled in a most simple-manner. Mrs. S. had made arrangements withMons. Carbone to give her daughter mv^iolsssons, and upon his first visit the- door *cas. ppened by Mary Jane. Judge of . the old Udy's.. astonishment to see the. polite Frenchmaa, salute- her maid in the most respectful' way^ w.hile.he shook hands with the.warmth and/ intimacy of. an old- friend.. After he had^ taken, his departure Mary Jane interviewedthe old hdy^ and startled her with the 'announcement that in future it would npt be necessary fpn.her to leave, the house, for, as"" her music masiieKw^s arccjoqi^gtQteachj r Miss Matilda, he.might k,iU two birdi witK. the one stone, andthe.vtw^ lessons be given, at the samex time." Strange- as it nuy : appear, Mrs. Sweetly failed to see the advantagft, and refusing, to fali-i^tb the arrange^, ment, the slight was, fitting^ punjshed' byMary Jane threatening to le>ve a fwiaily "as vich put hon such hairs "—-» desision^ ■wh^ch,xery properly^she^^ carried into effect. .New. Zealand Churchman, in a.recent isaue, made, the astounding assertion that Mosea. wa& the^ soijt of Pharaoh's daughter!. 'Tlji». new reading of Bibjical history, may or may not be a'fact, and: ifj- so, wpum; prove eminently satisfactory, inasmuch* as : it would definitely fix-' the. pawmtage< ofj" ttie, great: Jewish leader^ ' werS. *it r not that it b,r/ngt dishonor upon an, old j ; distiagnished, andrespected family, t hav t e always received with suspicion the. disinterested, patronage, of the Jewish maiden the >wjiif. of. the. bullrushes ; but if ' the Churchman be cor-, rect-— and it affects to be an authority upon " ; such; ; inatters— it is easy to account fprtbev milk in the cocoa-nut. The dictum, of A tiia6. j journal, however, |s slightly at variance with/ i.the, account to be found in the wntings of ; the. Greek poet Zozimps, wjip^ BBlatijl. the icuscun^tance. in the 'following classic lan=fiwg*^r^ :>: *-. .' v -. t'-- : '. : ;.";' ' '"'-■'.. '''' >„ "Af Pharaoh's daughter, on the bank! of> - „. An' aa she ran aboUt to dhjy ljershkini ,-i She kicked a baslßet«iJi!ha*¥Qlii^^]M fi^ * Arrah, girjte,' says she, in,accentewildj -' •"WTrich^bT^e,is it .^atownja it(he ch^d ? ' " • I haxe always, had the. highest respect for. Miss Thar^oh, bjit if . the v ChwcMnan b^ rights and thespoet^tftilp her-cbnduiJfcupoil, the occasion correctly, then, beside:bejng no better than she ought, to be.sheoraß^d^Te^ hypocrite to boot. Alas K therejw npsuch, - thing as innocence undes the aun,and.tha. world of five thousand -yean ago, was not, one.bit better than that of to-day. Gut of the, depths of my surprise^ lam- forced to ' exclaim, in the language. o£- the : immortalNutts, " O temporal 6 Moses !" : Whether- ' the scandal has. foundation,, in fact or not, : according to the good old -maxini, "De I mortuis nil nisi bonum" the^matter should^ have been allowed, to rest in, the oblivion by • which it.wajsi surrdupded for the.lafjj for^ % I or.fifty centuries; ' • "''■ ' : .\ ' v