UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

Manawatu Times, Volume III, Issue 35, 12 March 1879, Page 2

UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

" A duel's amang ye takin' notes, An' faith he'll prent 'em."

Mr. Editor, Sir, if you are not actually perfection, you are as near perfection as possible ; but being still human, you are liable to err, and therefore I wish to draw your attention to a misstatement which recently appeared m your leading columns. When alluding to the commercial position of the Wellington journals, it was stated by inference that the Chronicle was not m a flourishing condition. Magginnis, who it behind the scenes m such matters, informs me that the reverse is actually the case, and that instead of being a losing concern — as it certainly was under the old management — since its editorial columns have been m charge of that veteran journalist, Mr. Henry Anderson, a most cheering change has taken place — its circulation has been trebled, while a glance at the paper will exhibit the quantity and quality of the adTertising favors. This is to be attributed to two circumstances — haying a man at the literary holm who not only knows haw to suit the public taste, but when necessity demands it,' is prepared to speak his mind at all hazards. That is one cause of its success, and the other is the fact that its practical management is m the hands of a thoroughly practical man, one who knows the whole routine of a newspaper from the laying of the fount to the loeking-up of the forme. With two such men at the head of affairs as Henry Anderson and David Curie, both perfect masters m their respective departments, it would indeed be strange if the Chronicle were not a success. No matter how good or energetic a serrant may be, no man works for another as he would for himself, and the manner m whioh the Post shot ahead of its rivals when under Mr. Anderson's charge, is sufficient guarantee that the. Chronicle, m which he now has a direct pecuniary interest, will not be allowed to play seoond fiddle. I would wish that I could refer to its evening rival m equally laudatory terms, for I would much rather note its progression than its decline, but while it still holds its own as an advertising sheet, candor compels me to Bay that as a newspaper it is far far short of what it was.

Shakespeare, m his play of Henry VIII., says : " Two women placed together make cold weather." I do not know whether the gentler sex of the Sixteenth Century differed very materially from their sisters of the Nineteenth, but certainly, judging fronj lovely woman of the present age, I should be inclined to read the quotation, "Two women placed together make hot water." I am continually being regaled with delightful chit-chat about the vagaries and eccentricities of Servantgalism, Dut I have often thought that were the good old maxim audi alteram partem observed for a, change, the Mistresses would not all turn out to be the poor suffering victims they are pictiu-ed. A few weeks since a lady, who shall be nameless, after much difficulty secured as " help" the services of a new arrival from the Emerald Isle, and as the lady was a firm believer m the creed to consider everyone a, a thief until they had been proven to be honest, she took the first opportunity of laying a trap for the newcomer. Shortly before the floor was to be swept, she watched her opportunity and secretly placed a pound note heneath the hearth-rug, quietly retiring to a corner to await the course of events. Unfortunately, however, for the success of the ruse, the little schem* was observed by the person for whose benefit it was intended, and with that wit with the sex is accredited, the poor despised, suspected slavey set herself to circumvent and punish her suspicious Bister. Quietly proceeding with the sweeping process until the hearth-rug was reached, she carelessly lifted and flung it to one side, when all at once vigorously using her brush, she swept tbs planted treasure into the fire. This was more thau the amateur detective had bargained for, and with a bound a.nd a shriek she rushed to the rescue, shouting out " Oh my pound. ; my pound !" Relief came too late, and her feelings were not much soothed by receiving such a scarifying castigation a only an injured and excited woman's tongu can give, and that woman, a Milesian. I the test was a failure 0.3 to the honefety ofthe subject experimented upon, it was thoroughly successful m proving Bridget's independence, as next day the discomfited schemer was minus her- pound and her*— servant.

"Straws serre to show which way the wind blows," and no doubt *U your readers have read the story of the. dervish and the lost camel. Some men go through the world with their eyes shut, as it were ; while others " find tongues m trees, books m the running brooks, sermons m stones, and good m everything." I romember once walking along a southern town with a visitor, w,hen I nas surprised by being asked the question, " How many bootmakers are members of your Borough Council ?" The matter had nerer crossed my mind, so I required some time to recollect that four sons of Crispin had seats, at the Board. Upon stating tbis fact to. my friend, I was met with a rejoinder of "Ha, I thought so." Upon proseing for an explanation, my attention was drawn to the fact that all the pathways of fche town were coated with a sharp gravel, and my observant friend drew conclusions as to why they were so from the fact of Snob-ocracy being dominant m the Council. Now I do not meau to insinuate that there, is any such collusion amongst our loca.l guardians, although the streets about the" Square " would lead suspiciousminded persons to the conclusion that everything was not exactly upon that principle. During the past week I was showing a brother scribe over the ?almerston Beadingroom when I was startled b,y what seemed the very irrelevant remark of " I see the tender bud of aristocracy is cherished m your community." After some consideration I admitted that, astronomically speaking, there were planets which revolved ii> their own orbit and moved m their own sphere ; while there were strata and substrata of society which never mingled nor carae m contact, the one with the ot^er. Again the same self-satisfied "Ha, I thought so," and as evidence of his deduction tow " snappar- up of unconsidered trifles'" pointet to a well-tli limbed copy of the last Couri Jov.vq.al which lay open before him, and fron wh»3.ce he had. drawn his ■onilosophy. Miew*v?FiM:,