Untitled

Manawatu Standard, Volume XI, Issue 1622, 30 January 1886, Page 4

•(. Mr John 'Swift,- a. igetletnan well- ~ known m Palmerston, sued the Govern- • rne,nt Life Insurance Association m Wel-^ lington on Thursday for the sum of £20 a ' for alleged* overtime ■ wh'eri acting as |c clerk m the service of the Association. ■ 'He failed to recover, however. j . There will be n6 address given at the • Lyceum. to-morrow. evening, so as to enable members and regular attendants to go '■ ie to Miss Chapman's lecture m the Forest- '«• ers' Hall. The subject of her discourse will - be, " Why I left the Church of Boine." ,n Miss. Chapman's addresses are ;very y highly spoken of By the Press. Adinis- _ sion to all parts of the house is fixed at *' Is. • The lecture will commence ; at :8i - o'clock, the doors opening at 7.30. ! The Foxton paper makes the lamest - defence of its school, committee; and a teacher, it ig possible to- conceive. It lt would far better never have undertaken id. such a hopeless task. , { ' ■.'.,. . ' The Wanganul tfp-river Navigation j steamer Tuhua, about which great things Df were expected, turns out a failure, being , n only able to .steam 6or 7 miles an hour . instead of 12 or upwards- as was sintici- ' pated. Thdre is now a fine row on 11 among the directors. , | • ; .; The, Racing Glub arel inyitiiigj tenders for ' alterations and -additions to the n grandstand. ; '" i. , Mr- "Wingate, Karere, givia notice of 0 his intention to apply for a . tlaugbtering 3, license. : \ .' . The following good election story is '» told by the London correspondent of the c Dunedin Star :— At one of his meetings, 7 Mr Shaw Lefevre was tackled by a' burly Beading tradesman, who, rising from a seat on the platform, said :- •' Now, sir, " will you promise me to answer a plain 9 f question I desire to put vyou, without l n evasion or circnmloeution— just a l Yes,' d or a * No.' " Sniffing danger, the candi- - date thought a minute ; then, turning to [ 5j ' his interlocutor, rtphed, With engaging \ } ' frankness: " Certainly, , sir ; if- in the first instance, you' will 'answer me a , .question on the same terms, viz., by replying just ' Yes ' or ' No.^nothinefimore. (1 " I will," declared the tradesman. N " Very 0 well then, said' Mr Lefevre, "hape you ; . left off picking pockets ?" Fori an me- ' stant thera-iwagt^n'.Jawful silence m the ,;,', haUj :Tnen;the point of the question and '■ the- unhappy tradesman?s quandary beganltd>daWn on the intelligence of the • crowd, anditfajrly sheuted with laughX ter. Needless to ; say the trapped q;iierist f Batdownin silence. : . •■•■ .- ■v A wqm.ai named Taylor,' a resident of ' r Auckland, whoso husband attempted to 'bolt thj> other day, visited Dr Knight's ,' residence . recently with. % dead baby i, m her arms, to ask him to endeavour to ' . save it.' Ordinary rem«dies werej applied with no avail. - Mrs Taylor was ' distracted, and subsequently purchased " Rough on Rats " and swallowed it. 1 She now lies m a prscarious condition. A busy family.— Book canvasser fto little boy attlie door) : ♦* Can I se^ your 1 ma^ sonny ?" Little" boy : No ; i she's busy m the ;kitchen, puttin' down peaches." Book canvasser : " Have you got a big Bister ?" Little boy : •* Yes ; "blUshes buoy upstairs, puttin' down 1 carpets." Book canvasser ; v Well, where's your pa ?" Little boy : " He's , round the corner, puttiu' down beer " j.<\ ■■ ';, •" . ' '" .' ',■■'■ '''"'■ ' "The following advertisement appears m Jhe Wellington papers, "Startling N«ws.— A fortune for ±'20. J. Barringtpnls great investment. ,. The greatesti boon ever offered to the publip. •" £1* per month will he paid to^ach' investor fur the term of ten years ; at the end of . the. term the £20 will be refunded. ' Oh receipt of the above mentioned sum a .written guarantee will be , sent , to "lany; ' part of New Zealand to pay m full, £\ , per month for the term of ten years.,, InveBtmr'ntB will be received Wy' bank, notes or Post Office orders made payable to J. Barrington only; with your name and address m full, until the sth day of February, nnd the first monthly payment will be due and paid on the Ist day of March* N.B. — As only a limited uumber can be accommodated at present, anyone sending after the above date the money will be returned. For address, etc." Surely the advertiser must think the public very easily gulled.