AUSTRALIAN SUMMARY.

Manawatu Standard, Volume X, Issue 1498, 4 November 1885, Page 4

AUSTRALIAN SUMMARY.

(Per s.s. Waihori, at the Bluff.)

(UNITED^PRESS ASSOCIATION.) Melbourne, Oct. 28. The Accountant to the PostofficeTelegraph Department has furnished a return, showing the increase m telegraphic business, consequent upon the reduction of the rates between this Colony and New South Wales, and the introduction ot sixpenny messages, m this Colony. The reduction on messages to New South Wales took place m January last, when the charge for ten words was reduced from two shillings to one: T.he business for the first quarter showed an increase of thirty-one per cent, compared with the corresponding quarter of last year, but the revenue shows a decrease of five per cent. The results of the sixpenny telegram shows an increase m traffic of thirty-four per cent, with only a decrease m revenue of three hundred and fifty pounds. The Customs Department has seized a case of blasphemous and indecent publications imported from America. The whole of the publications will be destroyed. , ■ The trial of Joseph Symes on a charge of keeping a disorderly house by using the Hall of Science as a place of public entertainment, concluded on Saturday. Mr Justice Higoiubofcliiiin, m .summing up, commented severely on some proceedings of the defendant. He said defendant claimed freedom, but he thought he should extend the same to others, yet by his conduct he had insulted the sacred feelings of others. He described the mock service delivered by defendant as destitute of learning, knowledge, science, or reason, and as a literary composition beneath contempt. The jury were unable to agree. They were equally divided m opinion, consequently they were discharged. Defendant was released on his own recognisances for £200 to appear again m November. The usual entertainment was given by Mr Symes on Sunday night, the customary charges being made at the door. The Woolgrowers' Association has held several meetings since its formation. Sir William Clarke has been appointed Chairman.

Fancy onr dear old lady's horror when she, heard that last week, at Lord's, a cricketer had bowled a maiden over. ' Poor thing,' exclaimed Mrs R, ' I hope she was picked up again quickly, and wasn't much hurt.' Stern parent — ' Here, ray son, what is this ? You were not at school all last week." Astonished boy — * How do you know ?' Indignant father — ' Your teacher told me so.' Wary boy — ( Did he see me ?' Wrathful papa — * No not once.' Triumphant boy — ' Then how does he know I wasn't there ?' The writer of the Spoopendyke papers recently died m America. Before he attached himself to the humorous press of America, he tried his band at ordinary journalism, but was not a brilliant success. He was one whole day on the New York Tribune, and to him was allotted the task of reporting a meeting of the Farmers' Club. He went, but his copy consisted of racy caricatures of the members, especially the, Chairman. It turned out that the muchly-caricatured Chairman was Horace Greeley, the editor of the Tribune. An American paper records how a gentleman rode to his wedding on a bicycle, bis bride makinp her appearance on a tricycle, and after the ceremony the pair mounted a tandem tricycle, and started for a wedding tour through New Jersey and Pennsylvania.