Hews in a Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume IV, Issue 153, 27 May 1884, Page 2

Hews in a Nutshell.

A lazy boy was complaining that hi* bed was too short, when his father sternly replied, " That is beoause you are too long in it, sir." Notluug is so great an instance of illmanners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you please none. If you flatter only one or two, you affront the rest. Hood, driving in the country one day, observed a notice by the fence, 'Bewajo of the dog.' There not being any sigu of a dog, Hood wrote on the board. "Ware be the dog?' " I have a ridiculous weight about me," says the fat woman of the show. Charlie — '•' How did you get married the second time ? Ed — u Sume as the first — minister, ring, lOJoI. Speaking of the matter of close observation, did it ever occur to you that women are clothes observers ? When a young man declares his loye in.deeply-dravrn breathing, young lady, put it down as only a sighed show. A New Jersey widow has -just been awarded 9000dols. as balm for a broken heart. This patches up the scars until it is almost as good as new. It is stated that the profits of the Sydney Morning Herald amount to £50,000 a year, Biverina to the Manager of the National Bank. — " Four inches of rain, send me a cheque book at once." Seventeen young ladies of Colorado Springs have formed themselves into a league and taken a solemn oath to have husbands before leap year is ended. The iusuranoe of orange groves is announced in Florida. It \b said that several Amedoan and one British company are now prepared to guarantee against frost and ice.