News in a Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume IV, Issue 149, 22 May 1884, Page 2

News in a Nutshell.

' Shall I play ' Over the garden wall?" asked the organ-grinder. ' No,' replied the citizen,!' I would rather you would play m the next street.' A comic paper has been established m Siberia, notwithstanding the pledges of the Czar that he would ameliorate the condition ef the exiles m that happy region. A mole on the nose is said to indicate that a man will be a great traveller. A corn on the toeiudicates that he will get others to do as much of his travelling as possible. A. telegram from Suakinr informed the world, the other day, that "some of the marines are being mounted." Thus a horse mariae is no longer, a myth, but a stern reality. Mrs" Hicks, of New York, had no clean " shirt for her. husband, and he pounded^ her with a shovel. The polioe court i judge said he thought the assault justi- * ficable, and let Mr Hicks go. '•■ ' Butcher—" Come, John, be lively now, J break the bones of Mr Samson's chops, and put Mr Smith's ribs m his basket.?' " All right, sir, just as soon as I've sawed ■■ off Mrs Murphy's leg." It is said that kerosene will remove stains from furniture. It has also beea known to remove the furniture, stains and all, with the stove and servant girl thrown m. A clergyman was telling a marvellous story when his little girl said : " Now pa is that true or is it just preaching." Candid sportsman — ' Boy you've been at this wbiskoy?' Boy who has brought the luncheon basket — 'Na ; the cooark wadna come oot !' - A little boy, disputing yith his sister on some subject,' exclaimed : " It's true, for ma. says so ; a.nd if ma says so, it is so, whether it is so or not !" <• What a beautiful thing, my dew. is a rosy cheek !" « Yes, husband, but how great the contrast when the blush settles on the nose." ;