Page 2 Advertisements Column 5

Manawatu Standard, Volume IV, Issue 115, 10 April 1884, Page 2

Th< j fiituiers m i:i« A-iibii. 1 >>m ill j ni:' will inn'p about tSO/'-tO bushels !e*s whwit this year to «;• ! limn last, l»8,0(H) leas of oats, and -bout 2ii,o"" les< of barley. But sis a, net- off ajiHiii.M this, they have put more iand m fel. Ufor «raziiiL', and hare raised more sheep and fed more cuttle than ever. One man was asked by another, with whom he was on tbe best of terms, where he had taken up his abode. ' Oh.' he re<plied, '1 m living by the canal. I shoul i bo delighted if you drop m some evening.' A lover ylNng and enthusiastic^ who sang and played for nearly two hours be» fore the house of his lady«love the other evening, was electrified— that is, shocked —after v short pause, by a cordial ' th-uik you,' gracefully pronounced by the ' other fellow,' who appeared at ihe drawing room window. A daring robbery was perpetrated the other day m a grocer's shop m Altonn. A stranger asked the apprentice, who was Alone m the shop, for a pound of treacle. When the yuung man asked what ho th/mld put it m, the stranger took of his hat, und told him to put it into that. 'I'he unsuspecting apprentice smilingly complied ; but he had scarcely rilled the hat when it was suddenly clapped on his head. The stranger then pr ceeded to clear out the till, and, snatch* ing up a few parcels of groceries lying on the counter, ' made tracks.' The poor apprentice, who hid great difficulty m getting rid of the hat arid tbe sticky matter which covered his face, shouted for help, but the robber had by this time got clear away. ' ..'■... From a Wellington paper we learn that Mr George Humphries- ™ho for some, years past has been engaged as a^fiistmit to Mr B. T. Gillon, the manager of the Pross Association, has received the appointment of acting, manager to the association, and will enter upon his raana* gerial duties' in June next, upon the retirement of Mr Gillon. At a meeting of creditors held m Wellington, Mr T, W. Young expressed ,a wish to exclude the Press representatives on the ground that the meeting took place for a litlle '' private chat," the publication of which might frustrate the objects of the meeting. The Officinl* Assignee, however ; together with several other gentlemen, thought it the safest plan to leave the repotting of what took place to the discretion of the reporters, as the proceedings were sure to be known all over the town, whether published or not. ' If you grasp a rattlesnake firmly round the neck he cannot hurt you,' says a writer on these reptiles. Keeping about a mile auead 6f the snake is also a good scheme.; Lord Dudley was one of the most ab eent-nrinded rutm I think (said Sydney Smith) I erer saw. One day he met me m the street, and invited to meet rayself. •' Dine with me to»day ; dine with me, and I will get Sydney Smith to meet J.ou. I . Thus says a writer from the S.uez m the Times : I asked' th» man at- the helm whether he preferred Arabi or the Khe dive. He answered, ' We want neither the one nor the other ', we. want bread.' f next enquired what he thought of the Mahdi. The reply was. ' The Mahdi is the devil.' A young giant is Jack Shields, of Hun county, Texas. He is 2L years old, seven feel eight inches high, weighs 291 pounds. Ho has six brothers over seven feet m height. A tree standing perpendicularly has been di.-covered at a depth of 280 feet m boring nn artesian well at San Bernardina, California. Great pieces of wood, which, appeared to be sycamore, were brought up, A Texas man is a Texas man. One who lost both arms m a sawmill has -learned to fire a revolver with his toes. A Boon to Mankind. — Baxter's Lung Preserver, by virtue of its balsamic and soothing properties, cannot be excelled as a soother of Pulmonic irritation. Muny whose recovery had been despaired of by medical advisers and friends, have been B pared to proclaim the astounding virtues of the Lunjr Pieserver. It has been employed m the mansion as well as m the cottage, and has convinced the aristocrat as well as the peasant that it is, indeed, a boon to mankind. It is pleasant to the palate and may safely be taken m all cases. Persons suffering from Bronchial affections, who take the Lung Preserver will find the speedy effect to be diminution of pain and expectoration — tjrs^, be« cause the mucous membranes are {stimulated to throw thft phlegm up, aad second because the medicine : is adapted to thin the discharge before it leaves th« bronchial tubes and luugs. This specific, is highly extolled by members of the medical aud clerical professions and others. — To be had of all chemists and store" keepers.