News in a Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume IV, Issue 76, 28 February 1884, Page 2

News in a Nutshell.

— :oo: — Seven new hotels, four with 1000 rooms eapb, are being built in London. 'O.yes,' said old Unola Pdeblw, wb© was describing a comedy he had teen, ' O yes, it waa funny enough to make » don* key laugh, I laughed till I cried.' The man who cannot write makes hit mark in the world* ' How far is it to Cork V asked a weary footman. ' Seven- miles,' was the reply. •' Whom do yon with to see there P' 'Faith,, it's meaelf I'd loike to s«e there.' It is estimated tbat over 600,000 phea% ganta'are sold annmlly in the markets of England. A minister once asked a aondeooued . criminal in a parish Rao!, ' What kin.4 of a conscience have you X *It's as good as new,' replied the prisoner, 'for I Juw never nsed it.' Scotland haa this year contributed 8,870,660 pounds of salmon to the fish of London, fully a third more than supplied last season . . Sportsman (who has missed again)- * I say, Mumbles, the birds seem to be afraid of me.' Keeper—' Welt, sir, they didn't ought to be, for yon never 'urt any of A number of rich men of different nationalities, have been interested iu th» the project of building a hag* oasino at Naples, a!ixa to the requirement* of sum. mer and winter. The promoters promise every conceivable form of amaiement whiob money will procure and law allow, including, for sedate persons, the use of & library of 30,000 volumes. ' Mother,' asked a Philadelphia girl, ' what is a heroine ?' lA. woman who dosen'fc squeal at the sight of a rat/ waft the prompt reply. Colonel Berger ro aa nervous : ( I may be a fool, but ' ' NoSody has disputed it,' broke in bis wife. * Now, do wait until you are denied a privilege, will you ft I eay I may be a fool,' the Colonel con* tinued ; ' in fact, I quite agree with you that, l am,' <ind he looked significantly ah bis marriage certificate banging on th» wall. An Austin justice asked a darkey offi* dally, 'Were you ever arrested before ?' ♦No boss ; when I wm arrested de polio** man grabbed mo from behind, 1