News in Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume IV, Issue 69, 20 February 1884, Page 2

News m Nutshell.

!S°T g have you been marriedP' asked the clerk at , the hotel desk, aa the elderly bride-groom registered^ ' Two? weeks, 1 replied the happy man. • I Front I* cried the clerk, 'show the gentleman to parlor.B ; $15 a day, sir.'i ' Tjhird J calmly iWid the guest. « pb,rexouaß m& Front ! !& how the gentleman 10 8&i x j>aok; Take the elevator. Four^dollaraa weefc ; were you a minor when you landed m Liverpool p 1 asked the ,-ta**. collector. « No, your honor, I was a> bricklayer.' - , - T A ' fast' man rumr quickly through a fortune. f! . , : » . Mary rea|one ; If they were only arm-and-ajpa why should, harm be made of it, The libellers ahould be ' cobbed? A man never obtains anything like a correct idea of the miseries of life until he attempts to put onal4| cojlar on a 16 neck. The Spaniards must be a cynical people, or they'd never have^uch'a proverb aa^- * A woman's tears cost jher little boo bring bermuoh.' . . -„ rr , v ; -^ Upon a writer declaring his wor.k con* tamed. much Jf;food for thought,'- a frien^ remarked, '$»at may be $6, ,but it' is wretchedly cooked/ ■ v . He came m yesterday, and- seating himself opposite a desk, asked— 'Well, what shall 1 write about V The editor told him he had better risht about face. ' That prisoner has a Ye. y 'smooth coun* tenPnc«,' said the iudg« to the sheriff. ' Yes, my lud,' said' the sherifF, ' be was ironed just before he was brought in.' « 1 -have no' wealth,* «»he sard ;■ ' I can gire you only my hand aud heart.' Ai/d then he thought if heart was aibig as her hand, she was indeed wealthy. A jolly-looking irishman was saluted [with the remark— '. Tim, your house , is blown away.' 'Deed l then, it iari'jjij'she answered, ' for I have the kejf iu^my pockot. ' ' ■ • .: ' . -•' i •The best that; a country s editor, whose sweetheart has lilted him, could ask was, •"• Why is love ; like! a.: Scotch [plaid ?' ; '^Because it is all stuff, and often crossed,' ...... ! ,r " j „ M uaic* teach er— | You that .with an open .space / That's a ' whole "note.. Can you reineniber that f SaJiolar— ' Yes'eui ; a" whole note ia'a note that "has a hole ia it.' ' _ " Boarding"house chicken sd'up • caff %e made, it is ovid, by hauging upa hen m the sun so that her shadow shall fill in-, to • a pot of salt and ' water. ' The- only trouble is that on a cloudy day the soup ia liable to ba weak . !"'.■.!!"' ;