News in a Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume IV, Issue 52, 30 January 1884, Page 2

News m a Nutshell.

• '■■■■ fc -t^rodUL • V-iii i 4 f A bachelor and a spinster who ihad been schoolmates in^youth, and reeraabbtft the same age, met m after years, and the lady chancing to remade that ' men live a greatf JdeaKfasJier;. tha,n The bachelor returned j /^^Wane"" the last time we met we. were eaca twenty»four .years old ;now JC'm over forty and I hear you havenV reached" thirty yet.' They never met again. ' c r .- ■'• ' At Conway, m Wale?, there is a monument erected m tHe bKatcb to the Memory of a dead worthy, Alderman., Hooper. His epitaph consists of the following sentence :r-^H6 W** the,;fathj^.of twentyseven children, and was the ' foriWfirst child of his father. '"' ;I: -''' ? ? y •Many women m" Russia, work at painting china. ' ''•'■'• -?-rK. : It is estimated that 1000 women are practicing medicine m England. Who pays the hi^bWt /price for a home ? y^wo%antWMrnwrries for one. The Pnnoess of- Wale* -always dresses perfectly, and rarely alters -hera^yle. of the 45,000 arrested jo Paris last year only 6000 were women. > The police are gallant. -■ ... . "".V ' , Governor Crosby says ; that whif^ if r Arthur and, ; his friends Vere crossing- a dry gulch m JNorihern Wyoming they saw, written m ■ charcoal over the .door of^ a vacant cabin ;the following .:— " Only, nine miles to water and twenty mile's 'from wood. No prub : in'the house*' >God blaas „o ur home." -. ..._■ -\ " ' 1 Danald orders . broth;-— Donald; What's this P Waiter! . .' Broth", &ir,' Donald : " Hooaye!' Yisl^A: pease here and a -barley's there, and: the: wan rwhuatlia'^to the ither/ where- are yono^o ?'. \ ].-. „-, It is stated tctat '- a gdld • niedab «ncF a putae of money are to-bV presented t« the 'Wiltshire ' beer-drinkiDg ' farmer who Recently beat hia ♦ watoisdrinking' antago* nist m a • pitching ' match m the harvest : field. "V '. " ; ..-':•»: : . ■ There are 'irishmen m AmeVica who are so sanguine about _the" creatioii J 6f a republic m the sister country, that they have issued banknotes— an imitation of the. United, States""bank notes— bearing the words, " Iftsh Republic."" ■•' ■ • " g It is, a/glprious thing to have been bijrn a man. One doesfi't. have tO'bbther hi'm< self for a rconth over the 'plans and specie fications of a new spring bonnet. He •imply , ha> to foot the b\\l when th» thing is brought home. l * v The, ufolib wing curious • advertisement appears m a recent issue, of a J'esth newspaper,:— v To please my. wife, j, tjie undersigned, declare" that" ' frooi 'h^nce. forth I will iiot put my fodt ina'isafe'or brasserie; and : beg my friouds -aHd no* quaintances never to aafc me to frequent these haunts of perdition^ and I. authorise anyone finding me m a cafe immediately ]to demand fronv^rae the; sum of j fifty florins, which; will bY given to some public charity." _ All the men, women and'boys employed m ikfi. S.tate to.^ac^o niapufiicfcury of the Grbs Oaillou in" Taris have been invited to prove that tney are French citizens Those who fail to do.so are to be dismissed, of whatever nationality they niay be. A Glasgow journal boasts that that city has the longest, telephone wire m the world viz., 32 miles. This id not correct, B 8 Ndw #eala.pd has pnempre than 100 miles m length, namely, Messrs Cunning* ham-and Cd-s private wire bet wdeiuphnst* charch and Timaru. i< -• i.j£ A Western paper apologises th^SfSrfr 1 la place ofcMayorN— .-rwaa-tighj; last night beyond a doubt,' . please read * Mayor N-— -rjwas right,' etc, The .compoaitor that did the mischief has been asked to remove himself, . ; Whoever doubts that the newspapers have a mission^ should .eiitef a railway Carriage and Bie hoivusefnl they; they are to the mcii wheri a fat woman with a big basket is looking around for a seat.