News in a Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume IV, Issue 27, 31 December 1883, Page 2

News m a Nutshell.

Nobody ever jtbpught jfc. necessaii*; to urge a pawnbroker to take more interest m his business., ., „.,.•.,. They say that figures won't lie ; but one is inclined to doubt the old «aw when he looks upon the figure, of it fashionably dressed woman. 'Those birds flying over yonder are aquatic birda, I suppose?' asked the young man m the seal brown suit of the captain of the steamer. ' No, they ain't, was the scornful reply, ' chem's duck?.' Ba W agema,ter (toioia: lady who- has been causing him a great deal of unnecessary trouble):' Wei>, nairiD,'! just wish you was an elephant, and then" you'd' always have your trunk.right under your eyes.' • - ■■' -■-• .^i :\f L r< j-. 'Where did you get your wonderful power of languaee V asked an admirable auditor at the olo4e of the 4'ecture. 'On ' replied the lecturer, with a laugh, « I used to work m a barber's shop.' A -Scotchman standing by the family grave said : ( Tfaeife lie my" granfotherand gran'mither, and my am father and mither, and here lies my brither Bob, and my puir girl Annie, and there lies my wif# J and, if I'm spared, here I'll lie too." * Poor fellow, he died m poverty,' Bnid a man of a peraon lately c That isn't anything,' exclaimed a seedy >by<. stander. ** Dying m poverty it no bardship. It's living in' poverty that put* the thumbscrew on a feHow.' '« A conceited ybnng' country Ration walking home from-oharch with one of the young ladies of his congregation, 8a jc| j a allusion to his r^stiq.audience, • I preached this morning to a^eWgregalion of asses. 1 «I thought of that,' observed tne'fiftdft ' when you; were sailing- them' beloved brethren;'* .;; ... There is a pIaeTHT Ceylqn called the world's end., -Yorf stand on t&eeageof a plateau, and look over a precipice 5000 feet m height. If you tumble, you xumbie about a milej ■ One atep will ao'the. business, It is certainly the end of the world as far as the unfortunate tumbler is concerned. The London correspondent of the A.tick"« land Star Bays :— Persons wanting copies of the famoffs" History of Uev Zealand" by Rusden, should instruct an acquaintance here to visit the secondhand book stalls m Holywell-Htreet. There are numbers to be got, and the vendors are glad to get rid of them at any price, •' £ The Brilieh and Eoreiga\Bible Soc^etT iraued laut year IQtQQO Bibles and Testaments daily, 1, 928,000 jpr the year, and since its , organisation it has issued 93,053,000. " r; ■;•'■.. '■■ •/•'"'•■ ■ Buildings are being, erected m all the suburbs of Melbourne. Works are coming to a standstill' for" want of an adequate supply of bricks; !: ' '■ ; i; At the conclusion ~pt Mr Scout's leotur.4 on Democracy m NabW, We Jdhn' ! B'egg hoped Mr Stoot would re-enter -the House, and extirpate Vogelism, root and branch There-are now m London 520 fountains for human beittgs, and ,627 troughs for animals, tha value being £60,000. There are estimated to.be 700,000. drinkers. Ihe Salvation-Army of England is nay* ing fifteen halls! built,? ifith fattin* ioiift:. city for 26,000 jpeopje. >.- ;V ; j__ A family is reported irom Pittsburg to have been poisoned, by canned coir} beet OneiObiid has died. The small island of Mauritius, though but little larger than, the Isle of Wight, has a population of 360,000; and an annual trade amounting Ix> £6,000,000, equal, as the inhabitants are never tired of pointing^ out, to that of England m the reign, of Queen Anne. : The total trade between Australasia and the United Kingdom m 1882 £5;5,000,000; incltiding Je^6oo,ooo ' of precious metals.- '6f this' nearly onefourth passed through the Suez Canal, or excluding gold, one fourth. _- In certain parts of Norway Ifte. girls are not allowed' to -be r . ijetrolhecl, /to say nothing of being married,uritjl ibey can spin, knit, and bake bread. \\ lf some such" prohibition could be m force here girls would be more highly accom plished m ordinary domestic dutie 8 than is» the case now. ; A new Thames tarineij' to cost £1,400,000, has been sanctioned by the Metropolitan Board of vVorks. \ 1\ will be situated one mile east of London Bridge. — r .'■".'■■ j . <one of the unsuccessful applicants tor the, Auckland assigneeship m baafcruptcy.had his claim surported by nins Northern members of the Legislature, mpst.pr the foreign consuls, resident m Auckland, seventeen solicitors, a host of mercantile men, and several suburban mayors. .' ■. ' : . . ,'"* '''/' On, a recenly Sunday evening, Mad», ame J£nglp completed at King's Lynn the task- of walking 1500 miles m 1 000 hours. Although exposed to severe weather, she appeared m as good health as when she started, Madame Englo, on Tuesday, commenced to walk one hundred miles m twenty-four hours. , . ; . At Eastbourne, Mm Thersea Johnson . o£ Leeds, contested tor £200 and the ladies' swimming: ohaau)ionship of England against .Miss Laura Sajgeman, of Devonshire liatnsr The distance was one mile. - 1 Miss Johnson, who is only fifteen years of age^ swanj m splendid style}' and won easily bjy 150 feet. Time,, 35 minutes, 34 seconds. An attorney ,bfouglit an immense bill to a lady for some business he Md done to hei. The lady (to whom 1 fie had once paid his addresses) murmured at- the charges. " Madam," replied the limb.pl the. law, ( " 1 had a. mind to convince you/ that nyr profession is lucrative, and : that I 1 should npt nave been a bad match." . ■ .'■■ '•'■ ■** " The dynamite party !" ex^g^fl Mrs Shoddy, who was reading^^^^H papers. "Dear me, Au^us^^^^^M have togiye one right &w]|^^^^^^H Smiths hear of it. I«^^^^| like!" - '^^^^^H