News in a Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume 4, Issue 276, 25 October 1883, Page 2

News m a Nutshell.

* I'm getting fat,' as the thief said when he was stealing lard. There are few things which are cheaper than talk, unlesi a lawyer does the talkin * . ..: ■ . Fisherman—' Get any sport m this stream, Pat P Pan— 'lndeed we *°t «>rr —the height o' sport, sorr: 1 we' always throw the bailiffs m there, sow,' A Temperance Lesson.— Harry : ' Say* Pa, can you tell me why Murphy's liquor store is like a counterfeit coin f Father ; 'No, I give it up.' Harry ;'Ooz you can't pass it.' The mtn who thinks that his, boy can hoe m the garden while a circus procession is passing is always the man who has a front seat when the performance begins. ' ,- . > She has a charminflr little daughter, but who is terribly indiscreet The other day, m. the midst of a ieception, the child cried and writhed on account of the tooth* ache. Her mother tried to console her. ' There, my darling, be reasonable : don't cry ; your toothache will pass away.' 'How will it kq away P' replied the ohiW, her voice broken by subs. 'I can't take my teeth out as you can, mama.' Practising on fifes, cornets, trombones, or othw wind instrumsnts; will, it is said, improve the condition of people with weak lungs. Wot only this, but it. wili improve the health of next door neighbours. Throwing bootjacks, old shots, etc., is a good exercise. It is said that when Mrs Langtry was told that JMEiss .Blanche Roosevelt had been ,. mistaken for her, site replied with languid egotism, 'Is she really so very 1 beautiful V • \ , ; A London paper of July 7 states that the screw frigate Galatea; of 26 guns, is being broken up at Chatham, where she wa3 towed from Davenport. She was a vessel of 4583 tons, with engines of 2759 horae-power, and it was on board this yes« sal that the Duke of Edinburgh made his crqiae ronnd the world. "''."' 'A The Great Eastern steamship is toil employed m carrying Scotch coals from Forth to the Thames, and as she will be able to carry about 20,000 tons each vby« age the promoters hope that the project will be a remunerative one. They speak of annual dividends of 5 percent. The only survivor of the Waterloo banqaet is the Earl of Albemarle, a nobleman of 85. It is hardly possible, writes a Lon« don author, to conceive the aad sense of survivorship being more strikingly brought home to one than m this case. Who of us does not remember the 'picture of that historical entertainment which used to take place year after year with lessening guests at Apsley House! -Even to us, to think all' are now gone but one,, is a me* lanoholy reflection : what, then, must it be to the sole survivor. '"''['.. ' A day or two before the Qae.en opened the JBoyal Courts of .'Justice; twp Irishmen were looking at tome ; men stretohing a rope across the Strand from one house* top to another, for the purpose of suspending some flags. ' Shores and /what will they be either doing at the tops of them houses there V said Pat. 'It's a submarine, telegraph theyta afther putting up, I suppose,' replied Mick. , ' " s