News in a Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume 4, Issue 251, 25 September 1883, Page 2

News m a Nutshell.

A sign of the coining sammer.-i.Thft warbUngJof the; enchanting m^StoSu now be heard, m the suburbs of ' Palmers* ton. . . ... ■,:.'■.

Why is a retired carpenter Hke! a leo tv ™ r «— Because he' is an explainer. Whether old age is to be respected or not depends much whether it 'applies to men, women* poultry, or fish. ' ' f: Gentleman (returning from Hale: colliding with hansome) : " Hallo, cabby, drunk again V Gabby (mournfully) ; 'So I see sir. ■ .

,*J? a » what * 8 hu?h V a ß fced » Mttle boy. ,Why my dear why, do' you ask 1' Becaase I asked sister Jane what made her new dwss stick out behind ■ and< she said hush.

•-Liquor 'said the lecturer, f ls responsible foa much of the miaery m this world.' mat s ap, said an old toper m the au- :_ 'ItisaTery bright piper/ Said Mrs Jones, bat my husband does not like me to read it* it is so full of naughty witicisms he sap; just what Ay. husband says/ said Mrs Smithj 'but he.bringi home a copy every week, having Imer.-y cut out the improper, paragraphs, of cour^ I buy another copy/ •Then he might M well spare himself the trouble of supply* ing a mutilated one.': Indeed no: its very,. useful one cannot read an entire newspaper. I lay his oopy over mine and read through the holes/ ; A stage loaded with touristsfor Yosemite r Valley was stuck up, and the pas* sengers deprived of their money and valuables. Next day the same stage upsat, and many of the robbed passengers were seriously, if not fatally, hurt. ( When he had called the meeting to order, Brother Gardener arose and said " G-en'lem, if it wasn't tor de wheels on a waggon the waggon would'nt move. When de wheels is on; den whit ?" " Grease !" solemnly declared an old man. ''■■ Kerrect," whispered the, , President, softly rubbing his hands together "We hez de wajtfdn and de wheels ; we will npw pass de hat aroun' for de grease." Some original drawings by Uaphael are said to have' been discovered' at Prague^ where the matter has naturally "excited great interest. . Nearly 20 > women of New York,- wives of some of the best known citizens, have petitioned the Board of Education to make the teaching of sewing to girls between ten and' twelve compulsory m the primary schools. ' ' ] i -