News in a Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume 4, Issue 249, 22 September 1883, Page 2

News m a Nutshell.

A fine place — the police c^urt. \ X X The keynote, ■' Wifey-let me"m I* j The end of a pencil is avtelling point. Chalk talk ; Have a game of billiards P \ Genuine self-denial : Saying * Ndlfa? home/ '''?■ : : •'-' Woollen goods are quoted quies, be* cause of their nap. j , Subject to fits, and pretty bad ones gomet.mes : Tailors. Stuff on royalty : The historical collar of good Q ieen Bess. ' The most hum6uious"Wember'o*f"l"*dbg"i is the wag of his tail. Family ties become sleepers, when the -twins sink.into-alumber. .-—-.- ---. •.-., If you should happen to want your ears pierced/ just pinch the baby. It is said that deaf and dumb people always take a hand m conversation. The largest manufacturing industry m London is brewing. A .pert miss says she wears bangs be* cansejshe doesn't want to jjook so fore* head. Size ain't everything. A watch ticking can be heard further than a bed ticking. Life is a tiresome journey, and- when a man arrives at the end he is all put of breath, r Wh en a pickpocket, gets out of pracr" tice, it takes a long while for him to get .his hand m. Does a drunken man necessarily speak in-gutteraal tones when he asks a friend .to pick him up?, If ' Noah had forsefen the ifuture, and killed. the two mosquitoes which took refuge iu r tbe ark, he would have rendered "sortie of the" 'a'trongest' %bfdß m our language unnecessary- • Yes/ said the man m the theatre gal-Jery,.-'-the make-up were generally fair, but there was one make-up that I should like to see— a make-up for lost time between the actd.' ■ ]-The;poet i ,who. declared, that Curfew, 'ring to-night iJ was correct.. 'It did not ring"; iC"meri»ly '"** f6lle_"T;lie*_Bell* of parting-day.' It's aotiof ten that a poet gets things as near right as that.' A remains of a man have been dug out of the ruins at^ Pompeii, with" both hands resting on his stomach. The building m which, he was found -is supposed to have be?n a cheap restaurant. ; '• . .]. H\\ : A, Berka(Gopnty l ,(£**/) young woman threw a pair of scissors at a man who was .teasing; her. As one of the points penetrated hisleye he couldn't see the joke, although she claimed it was ; ; sheer non-, Sense. ■ ■'.'■ r : ;j" :.-.'■,(•.,■ -.',.: , A New York judge says that cigarette smoking is robbing the young men of , their brains. When a young man 1 s*y s , he isn't afraid of cigarettes hurting-him, he probably knows what he l -is 'talking-. libbut.' ■ ■'-'':•''"■' . V ;..; A gentleman, taking an apartment; said to the landlady, * I assure you, madam, I never left a lodging but my landlady shed tears.' She answered, 'I hope it was not; .sir, because yoa went away without payin fr' . .■ , '.'. ' : 'l The district meeting of the Foresters is to take place at' Palmerston next month; | Mete Kitigi, a Wanganui chief jis seriously ill. _ The doctors have decided that an operation, of a very dangerous nature *is absolutely* necessary to preserve his life!,' Mete has always been a staunch friend of • the Europeans, and his recovery will be anxiously looked forward to.' ■ _i portion of section 250 on the plan of; the township of Fuxton has been gazetted a reserve for apublic pound, be very prosperous. Thomas Aw/iry and Samwird Ingrim,' both of Marton, have lodged applications for patents, for cross-action single wind* laaa wool-press. "' '*'* " : '__. ____H .;-.-! X A