SATURDAY NIGHT.

Manawatu Standard, Volume 4, Issue 144, 26 May 1883, Page 2

SATURDAY NIGHT.

— THE FIRESIDE. The Auckland Star is responsible for the following: —School-teachers are greatly troubled with little boys and little girls who willpersist m coming late to the?r dajly task. The following incident is related by a member of the City Schools Committee as having occured during orie.of his tours.of inspection. Teacher (to boy whohas arrived late as per usual) : " Humph^-wellijrchat makes you late this, time, my boy? Boy ; "Please, Sir, motKer kept' me to mind th« ' 'baby." Teacher • M Humph : . pity your mother ever had any babies." This, how* ever, is not a patch on the following whicn is also Touched fpr aa true. _. Teacher (to little b oy, : who, of course', was late again) : " Well, my bby.la'fe ajrHih, ch 1 !"' Boy ; : , Tea ; please, sir, mother got another baby « this morning." Teacher: "Eh! well see taat it does not occur again." One^' sultry -iiS-unday.,; a >.minister T was ".' thundering away at "his drowsy!jjpngregatipn, ths majority of wliicVwdu!d : go '■'■"■'-' to sleep io spite ipf, all his efforts* At last he sh^efy^Wake 'up here I Tliere ;:•: is a man preaching to youwbo- baa only j ■-■ half a shirt -on hii-baokl^ — Itwoke_th.e.m._ tremendously .,- >The next-day a delegation -ofladies visited the pnrsona^e Vi ana" presented the preacher-* with 'a i package co,n* taining. some very r nice saying ' "'tbat'it was a shame "tbafc^Ke^Bhoulibe reduced to biilf a 'shirt dn : his back." He replied, ajfter accepting : the? shirts iwith , thanks, " that, hejiwas not literally, reduced to half a shirty Jfcte^woje! only hair! . on his back': he wore the other Half m front '" of^him.": r . , r —fl "■■ "" il How; are^^TO'td-dayf^'^aßiasd^the- 7 .:;:'! benevoJeW Dr. P. of one o£ his Irish.patients jat "Guy's >Hospital;= V n-Faith^ . doctor, " groaned the-poo^, fellow, ,•' L'nx r, ithat bad if anyone was to tdl ,me t wias' clean dead, I would not be surprised at, dl&.-i j -•-■■■"■«^.'.-rXv J |-,.V A lady, -more -favoured ,, with fortune rthan education, at a soiree which she lately "<-. ; gave, desired her daughter to^play " the fashionable new ' malady ' she got from London last week;" The pretty girl obeyed, o : . t and it vfas very catching. A boy: stood' with'ah' umbrella, with . a cord lied to. it, m a public doorway. Eleven persdns'ttioughßhat thAtfumbrella was theirs, and carried it with, them the" length of ,the string. . They tbensuddenly dropped; it, and. went off without once looking back or stopping to pick* it up, again,- : • ? iliJady of experießCe>tol&er.y,e3//itha^ BQgs wafy to pick out a husband i'g to see bow patiently the man waits for dinner when it is behind time. *Her husband remarks that a good way to pick out a wife is to see whether the woman has dinner ready inftime.