SATURDAY NIGHT.

Manawatu Standard, Volume 4, Issue 139, 19 May 1883, Page 2

SATURDAY NIGHT.

/*HE FIRESIDE.

. Sissy : « And do you know, Reegie, bur new doctor brought a new baby to our house yesterday morning, and p apa lucky that Mamma was at home at the time, or I doa't know whatever we should h a ve done." - ; He who is false to preFen^duty breaks a thread m the loom, and will find the n . w when he may hare" forgotten =tls cause. si ■];.;! •' Do you thiuk nay daughter is a flirtationistr asked a lady W?gen«entan a ; a watering-place. "I am BU re Ido hot know, madam," was his answer. " I am no- an observationst." ■■' ? - The approaching wadding of a favonnte American lady lecturer has lately, been announced m the following manner :— ' * Letcy Hough' will never lecture any more, in public. {She. has made, a permanent engagement., ; His ,; name is Gregory. Bna wilf jhekepfbrth priyatelylleeture Gregory." ; ... ' A recent obituary notice says : — rf'Kr Smith was an estimabln citizen. He died with perfect resignation. J^ehad recently been married I" : . ' ' "''■ • •■•»-•■.•:■ ,• j.i. : cia A new chum Emerald leler, travelling through* some ringbarked country, couldn't: make, but why s Sme of the trees were "all out m blossom, ■•; wuile ;the ethers didn't have the divil a leaf on 'em at all; bedad." '; ..-, „ a: ::,;, ilit yChambermaid (at country hotel) : Will you leave your boots outside the door, bir ?— - ' Arry ;; What, and have 'e:n stolen J' Not me—not while I've got a pillow to put 'em-under.'v- — ; —^- : Not so fast.-^— At' a christening, while the~mioister was giving the ceitificate,^, helhappehed to say, •' Letlhidisee/Itft^ is the 30th." : y** The ; SOth^ exclaimed the indignant mother ; ''indeed it's only the 11th." fMtc «■■■!■■■•■'«■'■.,:<*. madam v how's your husband to-day ?' 'Why, doctor, he's ho better. <l iDid'syou get the : leeches 7 1 ! v^Yjesfj but he only took three ofthem raw. j 4l had stoifry the rest/; - : ; n,"--:!; ! hJjU ' ; Said a parent to his little '■' son ?>y Wb had ■committed some act of indioretldfci 'Do you know chat I am going tb-whij> you;* ' Yes,' said the boy, « I iiippose you' are, because you are biejrer thah I ' A' Philadelphia" girl Refused to : itiMy a young man till_ she accide^tly^^discoTerecl that bis hair and moustache wereiayed, Then^she blushih^lV'consented. She i knew that afie : cblild ihrow )tha t up'jjjp hini' if he erer foqnd' but th^t she 1 had a glass eye. ! " 'i; iliUi^fl ~