The Fieside.

Manawatu Standard, Volume 3, Issue 54, 27 January 1883, Page 2

The Fieside.

•.■; '■■' : !i. ■ — ?•" ~ — •- •■ ■ .) . : Scene m an. lrish cabin. 'Pat, is ill. Doctor has just, called. l Well, Pat, have you taken .the box of pills I sent you ! ' ' Yes, sir, be jabers I hare I but Idontfeejany better yet; maybe the lid hasn't come of yet !' " . Matrimonial music— the moaning of the tiedi, , .._'.. ... . An old and infamous composer— a dull sermon., ; •.• ■ When . a cat.rdtinks jrum 'you may look, out for. a rum-pus. ' There are imitations nowadays on every hsud— that is on every hand' that wears paste rings. / •• A boy defined; salt as ( the stuff that makes potatoes taste, bad when you don't put it on.' Some traits run'in families. Shakespeare's father baing illiterate, made his mark. So did Shakespeare. About the first thing a savage does after being converted by missionaries is to build a better house, and buy locks for hia* doors. ' "'" ' '" ' '' •-•'A-80U bf'Erin, on being questioned as to why he. wore his /stockings wrong side outward, answered : ' Because there was a hole on the other side/ .'Eugenic, Eugenic, will you still insist on wearing the hair of another woman upon your head V ' Alphonso, Alphonso, do you still ■ insist u P oa wearing the skin of another calf upon your feet!' ' ,• ;y,y . ; „ An Irish auctioneer, while recently expatiating on the merits of the. article* ' he was disposing of startled his hearer^ by exclaiming : ' An 1 here I have an elegant line of white. silk stockings, of all colors!' Scene;-^— Anatomy class. Professor, showing skeleton of bird's leg : * What's this a skeleton, of?' , Student :, < A bird*s leg.' Processor sbafpiy : f Fore or hind leg?' Student, confused : 4 Eh. —r& — aw — bind leg;' . . 'Well, Mike and have je,heard what they're going to do with Barney Plan* negan?' • indade,'attd I hata^ replied Mike, • They're going to imprison him for life, but I dbn'c believe the poor boy will lire half the time.* ■ '" ' Who is the wisest man ' mentioned m the Scriptures V asked' Miss'troodH rnough of one of her . Sunday-school class on a recent; Sabbath. ' Paul/ - ex« claimed the little lellow confidently. ' Oh, no, Johnnie"; "Paul was a very good man, but Solomon is mentioned as the wisest, man.' 'Well my father says' Parti was the wisest 'man* because he never married, and I guess father ought ij know !' repliediitie'vboy rather emphatically. And Miss Goodeaoagh, who had reached the sunless side of 40, did not contradict; him, even though she may have. had. her own view? upon tha subject.,