MR DOOLEY IN MOTUEKA.
MrHennessy : Whatd' th'do 't this Dibatin Sicity ivery Fridah evenin'Z Mr Dooley : W'll, Hennessy, I "go sometimes an' I mus' say th't "ts very inthertaimn' t' a mahn Iv intillick like meself; Wan iv th' schyentifick mimbers at th' las' may tin g've an exhibishuyn iv mikerobes in a high shtate iv divilopm'nt thru' a mikeroscope. Mr Hennessy asked for an explanation of the term microbe.
Mr Dooley : Yer onspeak'bly ign'rnt, Hennessy, on schyentifick matth'rs, b't I'll procade t' enlitin y'r darkn'ss as th' clargy Kev it. Th' name 's fr'm m' cous'n, Mike, in th' ould counthra ; he w's a divvil f'r thrailin his coat '(or r-robe in th' modh'rn thranslashyn) an' kickin' up ivery kind iv throubP. Wh'n th' faculty discov'rd th' mikerobe they wan iv our bhoys f'r president, an' wh'n th' christenin' w's bein' plann'd he towld th'm iv Mike an' they pr-romply daycid'd on th' name an' ev'n 't th' prisint time th' thrailin skirt an' th' mikerobe gen'rlly f'rgath'r on th' fut path.
Well, at th' Dibatin Siciety this mahn h'd two iv th'm thrain'd t' rastle —wan nam'd Yellah Jack fr'm th' West Indies an' th' oth'r Dipthaary a Graa.k. The Graak won th' Grazy-Roamin-style, an' Jack land'd th' Cumberlin, b't in th' Catch as Catch Can both w're complatly exhaust'd, nayth'r claimia' anny advant'ge, an' it's har-rd t' say which w'd hev won. At this stage th' peleeee intherfer'd an' shtopp' th' contist an' as some iv th' mimbers hevin wa-agers on th' raysult show'd fight, th' Sarg'nt thretn'd to call out th' militbary.
The offic'r commar.din' bein' in th' aujens shtat'd he knew th' whole iv th' mikerobe thribe, an' pr-roperly manag'd th i- w's money in th'm. Th' schoolmasth'r shtat'd th't he rayc'ntly caught two karosane tins in th' Graak v'riety in th' dhrain at th' back iv his hoose.
Th' mann in char'rge iv th' insecks began exshplainin' th' dif'm't kinds iv culchoors he had iv th'm, but he w's pv'romptly silene'd b' th' prisid'nt who shtat'd that as th' Siciety w's a cultc.hur'd wan he shtrongly objict'd t' anny iv th' mimbers bein' eompar'rd'd t' a rastlin mikerobe.
In r'ply t' a mini ber who ask'd if ye c'd catch th'm with a tooth comb th' mahn in char-rge shtat'd th' best way w's w'th r-rod an' line in a dhrain, an* th't gen'rally there w's good sport annywh're in th' Borrah.
Raysolv' th't th' subjeck f'r nixt Fridah be Th't th' intillectchool caly bray iv th' Siciety is high'r th'n th' parlym'nt in New Zeelin—particul'rlv th' biay. 3
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Bibliographic details
Motueka Star, Volume IV, Issue 198, 14 July 1903, Page 3
Word Count
435MR DOOLEY IN MOTUEKA. Motueka Star, Volume IV, Issue 198, 14 July 1903, Page 3
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