Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Motueka Star, Volume IV, Issue 153, 6 February 1903, Page 4

The Sydney Daily Telegraph is finding a lot of interesting copy for its readers by a perusal of early files. Here is a report of a sale from the “Currency Lad,” a Tasmanian paper published in the thirties, the extract being a re- - print from the Lancashire Herald:— “Gentleman, I have to offer to your notice my wife Mary Ann Thompson, otherwise Williamson, whom I mean to sell to the highest and fairest bidder Gentleman, it is her wish a 6 well as mine to part for ever. She has been to me only a bosom 'serpent; I took her for my comfort and the good of my house, hut she became a tormentor, a domestic curse, a night invasion, and a daily devil. Gentlemen, I speak truth from my heart when I say, may God deliver us from troublesome wives and frolicsome widows. Avoid .them as you would a mad dog, a roaring lion, a loaded pistol, cholera morbus, Mount Etna, or any other pestilential phenomnon in nature. I have shown you the dark side of my wife ; £ will now intro . duce the bright and sunny side, and explain her qualifications and goodness. She can read novels and milk cow's, i She can laugh and weep with the same | ease that you could take a glass of ale when thirsty; indeed, gentleman, she reminds me of what the poet says of women in general—-‘Heaven ga\e to women the peculiar grace, To laugh, to weep, and cheat the human race.’ She can make butter and scold the maid ; she can sing Moore’s melodies and plait her frills and caps ; she cannot make rum, gin or whisky, but she is a go id judge of the quality from long experience in tasting them. I therefore offer her with all her perfections and imperfections for the sum of fifty shillings.” After an hour or two the lady was purchased by a pensioner for the sum of 20s arid a Newfoundland dog. Max Hoffman, of Gore, has put up some very smart work in the shearing shed at Clifton this season. According to the Clutha Leader, he shore a large 6-tooth wether in the record time of I min 15sec ; another sheep that struggled somewhat, took lmin -30 sec: Hoffman is easily ringer in the shed. An American who formed the head of a tourist party which recently visited Queenstown went thither with the intention of staying a couple of days, but remained nine, and in bidding adieu to mine host of Richard’t said : —“Say, mister, I’ve travelled considerable. and ,must say you’ve got the finest country on God’s earth ; but the people j hereabouts appear to be waiting for the resurrection.”—“Sentinel,” in Otago Dailv Times.. CHAMBERLAIN S PAIN BALM Has no equal as a household liniment. I I is the best known remedy for rheumatism lame back, quinsy and glandular swellings, while for sprains, bruises, burns and scalds it is invaluable. - One application gives relief. Try it. A. Manoy sells it. Womans undermine Children!s Constitutions. Use WADE'S WORM FIGS, is | boxes .