MR. SEDDON IN LONDON.

Motueka Star, Volume II, Issue 100, 29 July 1902, Page 4

MR. SEDDON IN LONDON.

;V; § Waking them up or—this is so Beddoii' is-tbe title of the .ope^ scene.” which appears in tne “Free Lance,” Londdfi/publisned in July. ‘ 1 The dramatis piersobae are Lord Salisbury,' a%leepihg' beauty: j Mr:Joseph Chambe«lain. a nec (or nothing) romancer ; Mr R. beddon, a fairy frade-Y DtinceLord Salisbury’s sorts, jtejihfeWs; sohs-in-laW, etc. Mr Chamberlain and Mr.Seddoq rouse jthe . “ somnolent family.” .Mr Seddon, shaking Lord Salisbury violently, shouts, “Hi ! you really must wakfe up! ' Hi 1” and their the. following conversation takes 'place ’Lord Did anyone call? / Mr Chamberlain : .Mr: .has just dropped in on a little'business matter. ! Lord Salis : Ah, to be siire, ’to be sure; King of .Canoodiedum,’ isn’t he? No? Premier oi New Zealand? Well, well. jt’s the same thing. Delighted to see him, I’m sure. .Come to see. the illuminations, I presume. r ‘ Mr Seddon : I’ve coTne,'sir; to arrange for a Federation of the English-speaking Peoples on a business.basis*. I’ve come to give you my opinion of the Empire, and liovy it shoulti be governed. ’ * I’ve come— Lord Salis : Pardon me; : butif you don’t mind; rriy nephew, Mr Balfonr, would like to hear what you have. to i say. Arthur I (He shakes Mr Balfour.) Mr Balfour (smiling arid talking in his sleep) : The answer to the first half ofjthe question is in the- negative, ?nd to the latter half the answer is the s?me as on Friday last. No sir, I will not enquire. (Rubs his eyes.) I beg your pardon, lam sure, I thought I was in the House. Lord S : Mr Seddon, Arthur, has come all the yvay from—er—all the way from New York— Mr Seddon : New Zealand. Lord S: Just so—the same thing, I thought it was somewhere new. Well, Mr Seddon has come—er —all that distance, and—er—well, here he is. Mr Balfour : Charmed to meet him, I’m sure. . Lord S : Pray proceed, Mr Seddon. Mr Seddon : I’ve come about the Federation of the Empire, don’t you know, and all that. Mr Balfour: So sweet of you. Mr Seddon : And I fancy, if you gentlemen will only listen to me/ and take my advice —well, you see I touched at South Africa on my way, and the regulations there—really, upon my word, I didn’t know if I was standing on British soil or upon my head. I said so, in a speech or two, which, no doubt,, you read. I' Lord S : No doubt at rill, I assure you. You read the speeches, didn’t you Arthur? Mr Balfour : 1 think sq ; something about Tabernacles, wasn’t it ? Mr Seddon : Tabernacles 49 - Mr Balfour: No, of course, that, must have been some other felldw’s speech. But . I’m sure I read them, and thought them very clever. j‘ *Ma Seddon : Then you agree with me. I that we ought to have a Customs Union, 1 ajnd preferential tariffs, and all that. 1 I thought you would. And if ever you want a few thousand troops, just mention it, you know'. Mr Balfour : But 1 don’t quite understand. Mr Seddon : Well, this corn tax, you know, the thin end of the wredge, and all that. Lord S : But Free Tro.de/really, Mr Seddon, Free Trade. • ‘ . Mr Seddon (to Mr Chamberlain) : I thought you said it was all settled. Mr Chamberlain : So it is 1 (To Lord S.) You see, it’s like this. Mr Seddon and I have talked the matter over, and Sir Wilfred Laurier, he agrees with us, and so do the other chaps, and after all, Free Trade’s played out, and the colonies have made great sacrifices, so I may take it that preferential tariffs are settled and all tli at. I can’t'explain «ow, the other- Premiers are waiting. But it's all right, you leave it to me. Come along, Seddon 1 Exit Messrs Chamberlain and Seddon. Mr Balfour: Blinkered ! By-——— Lord S : Jingo. Mr Balfour: I was going to say “Joseph!” Lord S: It's the .same thing; it’s the same thing! (Consternation and Curtain.)