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Motueka Star, Volume II, Issue 93, 4 July 1902, Page 4

“It was a dhirty thrick annyhow, growled Mr O’Tunder. “Me Terry is playin’ th’ dhrum in th’ Sivintieth Regimint Band, an’ th’ bandmasther knew he wudden’t play annjr Gurinan ehunes, an’ so he croshed out th’ toitle av Th’ Watch on th’ Rhine an’ all th other Gurman wans, an’ marked thim as ‘Th’ Wearin’ av th’ Grane,’ and sooch loike, an’ Terry played loike th’ divil all th’ toime Pr-r-rince Hinry was here, niver knowin’ but phwat he was handing out good Oirish music.’ An’ now th’ b’y has a brick in his ban’ an’ har-r-d wor-r-rds in his tathe, and is huntin’ th’ bandmasther.”--- Judge. Bashful Mike (after a long pause)— “I’m a-thinkin’ I shall’list an’ go an’ fight the Boers, Widdy M’Gay.” “Faith, thin, it’s a poor sojer you’ll make. “Phwat de yez mean ?” “Oh, nothin’. Only a man who kapes on callin’ on a widdy for a couple o’ years without pluck enough to spake his moind hasn’t the makin’ of a sojer in him.” Waiter (down tube)--“Wild duck, one. Voice from the kitchen---“ Did he ? Just like my luck. Backed another wrong ’un !” -Punch. Ethel—“ Did you notice Captain Dash’s tie to-night ?” Mary—“ Yes, , but it is his moustacha that always tickles me.” Graspit—“"What would you do if you had a bad cold, doctor ?” Doctor (ciushingly)—“l’d consult a reputable I physician, sir.” Graspit—“Thanks, I I don’t suppose you could 1 tell me where | I could find one, could you V*