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Motueka Star, Volume II, Issue 49, 31 January 1902, Page 5

A certain totally "h"-less Melbourne beak had before him the other day an Italian sailor, charged with the usual two d's. Sergeant: " Was you drunk?" Prisoner (vacantly) " I no un'erstan' Inglees.' Beak : " What did 'e say ? Tell 'im to put 'is 'and down from 'is mouth, and speak like a 'uman bein." Sergeant: " Sez he don't understand English." Beak (with a portentous frown) "Now, my man, just take it into your 'ed w'at I'm savin' ter yer. Was yer drunk or was yer'not drunk? Prisoner (grinning, and holding tip twp grimy "fingers) "Yah! two .long beer!" Beak: " Fined ss, oi 12 hours—--mind, not so much for bein' diunk as fer prevaricatin' by sayin' as ow yer didn't hunderstand Henglish." A new recruit in the Ist Foot Guards of Kaiser William is 7ft 4|in high, the tallest man the regiment has had since 1850. He would have delighted King Frederick William the Ist.

" The moment you get hold of a State railway, said the Minister for railways to a deputation at Wellington the other day, " there are thousands of people that think they ought to be carried free ;. they have no more right to be can iid fieethan anyone else, and you have to resist them. lam refusing them every day." 'lbere has been an alarming increase in the number of small pox cases in the United States. In Philadelphia there ve e 12') deaths during the month of November. Two schools were closed in Jersey City, and all the large cities were infected. To add ti the horror" t f the epidemic there were, moreover, a large number of cases of tetanus following vaccination, especially in St. L ui-, iNew Jersey. For about three mouths some of the sheen-growers in the North Otago district have been struggling with the eff >rt to get their shearing through, but ow ng t > the broken weather have not yet succeeded. Such a seas >n as this has seldom been experienced in the district.

Brass bauds of working men have achieved ( ijh 1 o tours ab various times b >th in New Zealand and Australia. Aprrpos, it was mentioned at the meeting of fie Yorkshire Society recently that the b>a-;s band at Lee Mount, a. little country place, won first place and 1000 guineas at the Crystal Palace contest a few weeks ago. The conductor is a cobbler, and all the members are working men. Monday,s Post says : There was a scene in the'Magistrate's Court to day. George Fisher was charged on the information of his wife, Laura Fisher, with having failed to comply with an order, of the Court to pay LI a week towards her maintenance, and with having been L 4 in arrears on 13th January. Mr Skerrett appeared for coiuplainai t. After hearing evidence, his Worship said this was the second information in a week. Defendent would be ordered to pay LI fine and arrears to 13th January, with 7s costs (Defendant: it will be paid to-day.) —in default defendant to go to gaol. Defendant bega \ to talk, and was ordered by the Court orderly to be silent, and take his hat off. His Worship: "Make the man, conduct himself properly—l don't care who he is. I can't com 3 down from the judgment seat and keep order. There is a sufficient force of police, and if they see a man behave like a blackguard they should take him into custody."' Defendant, who bad removed his hat. left the Court. '' s: - •