WHEN MONKEYS BECOME REFORMERS.
It takes a sermon to reform some men; others require a smile from a pretty girl; •while still others must have a severe course of mental and physical treatment to bring them into the right way of doing things. This is a tale of how it took a troop of monkeys to show some errant gentlemen the way in which they should go. They were not bad folk (the gentlemen, not the monkeys), but they would frequent cabarets and drink more than was good for them. Perhaps they had answered all arguments against such procedure with arguments to their minds just as 'good; but the monkeys would listen to no arguments. They simply appeared But hearken to the tale as it is told in the New' York ' Telegraph.' When it comes to furnishing a " never again" incentive, remarks that redoubtable paper, visions of pink cliameleons must give place to brown simians. What happened is this, in the words of the scribe:
The aforementioned former disciples of Bacchus_tried out the treatment on a recent afternoon, and know whereof they speak. It was along about 3 o'clock that Mr and Mrs George M'Fadden and Mrs E. T. Connaughty walked up the street past the cafe in question, when Mrs M'Fodden's attention was attracted to a vendor of animals who offered his wares from the curb. Mrs MTadden already possessed e parrot, and a dog, both of which she keeps in her apartments; but a menagerie is never so large there isn't room for one more.
Accordingly, when she spied several tiny monkeys peeping out from various pockets of the vendor, she instantly decided she must have one forthwith for her very own. Husband agreed, and the salesman tendered the most diminutive specimen of' his collection. His hand proved a bit unsteady, however, and the ycung animal was dropped to the sidewalk, where it set up a terrific howling that galvanised all his sisters and. brothers into instant action.
The animals sprang from their hidingplaces in the vendor's co~at. and made for the nearest haven of refuge, which chanced to be the cafe. Nearly two dozen patrons of the place were leaning in various attitudes of ease about the mahogany bar as the monkeys entered. The first man to see the animals glanced a second time in -a startled manner,, and then turned hastily to his neighbor to loudly discuss the weather, lest the other should notice his strange maimer. "When several of those present had noticed the invasion, however, the first, sightseer gained, a. bit more courage, -and he was able to ask, in a rather squeaky voice: "Say, fellows, do any of you soo what I do?"
On being assured that they did, the speaker gained more courage, and turned- to take another look. There was plenty to look at, for, says the account: By this time the band of intrepid invaders lad begun to feel more at home, and two of them were already making free with the bar, while a. third was getting into intimatu acquaintance with a vast array of cut glassware that flanked the shiny minor behind the mahogany. One of the glasses was accidentally upset, and the sounding of crashing glass seemed to unloose all the pent-up energy in the bodies of the animals. A wide Bweep of the paw Bent a dozen expensive glasses following the first one, and his brethren turned to with :i wilr to help out on the work of demolition. Before the vendor could corral his pets the cafo resembled a set for a Kansas cyclone scene, and the two dozen patrons were in full flight. Finally the animals were collected and the damage estimated; but the patrons did nob return. They were down at the corner holding a solemn conclave. "How about it?" one of thoin asked his fellowsl "We're with you," they all intoned. " Never again."
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Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume XLV, Issue XLV, 20 July 1917, Page 1
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651WHEN MONKEYS BECOME REFORMERS. Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume XLV, Issue XLV, 20 July 1917, Page 1
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