WIT AND HUMOR.

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume V, Issue 308, 22 January 1875, Page 3

WIT AND HUMOR.

A s.iucy young widow eays ghe is the honey- moon of her widowhood.

An exchange asks, " Does hanging prevent murdtr?"" We • reply, "Try it." ' ' '

. .Some Boston girls are about to establish. a sock-darning factory for the benefit of friendless young bachelors. " Where are .you going " asked a little boy of another who had slipped on an icy pavement. " Going to get up," was the blunt reply To obtain a postage stamp at a Niagara post office it requires a five minutes' struggle with two negroes and a baldheaded bookkeeper. A -temper'ince gentleman says -. — " Thousands of poor men. are spending as much for newspapers as would buy a good glass of beer every day." A Philadelphia paper thinks that if Mauch _ Chunk were in Europe, it would be celebrated in a song. The name would undoubtedly give a charm to verse.

A Capetown paper, in its report of the conditions of the place, says:— " Matrimony has succeeded the measles, at Grahamatown. Fifteen couples are preparing for the altar." " I shall awaken in Paradise with thee y love," wrote a fair young girl before she took arsenic. But she took too much for a death dose, and awoke with a stomach pump down her throat. An American literary gentleman and poet writes in mockery of his cold in the following bitter (beer) spirit : The bood is beabig brighdly; lore, - The sdars are shidig too ; While I am gazig dreabilj, Add thigkig love of you ; You caddot, oh, you caddot know, My darlig, how I biss you— •: (Oh, whadfc a fearfue cold I,ve got— Ok-tish u! Ck-ck-tish-u!) A book on " self-culture " never got a reader. The publisher . had it rebound, and A: Young Man on his. Muscle/' and'anxious readers had to wait for weeks' before they could get it. : - I