MISCELLANEOUS.

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume V, Issue 306, 9 January 1875, Page 4

MISCELLANEOUS.

A Washington chap is writing a history of all the robberies which have taken place there. It's well he commenced the task while young. A burglar who was found under a man's bed in Philadelphia excused himself on the ground that he "was looking for his dog. ■• That was a graphic bit of descriptirn by a Western man, who, looking put upon the country the morning after a"' Snow-storm, said it appeared as if Nature had put on a clean shirt. A Nevada judge, after the jury had been impanelled, and the counsel ready to proceed, nulled out a revolver,, judicially remarked, " If any mangoesto frolicking around in this Court-rooth during the trial of this cause, I shallinterrupt him in his career." ' The-, strictest decorum prevailed in the. court-room. A n A merican literary gentleman,' who has graduated in dyspepsia, writes the following treatise on the subject: " I hav laid d' wn more than 2 thousand times, and rolled over once-a.min-. ute all nite long, and got up in the morning like a korpse, nud thar didn't nothing seeiri to nil me enny where in partiklar. I. hay read whole library's on the stumuclc and liver, and when i got thru i knew a great deal less what was the matter uv me thaa' when i begun. I hav'drank whiskee with roots in it enuffto carry off enny brllge or sawmill in the country.-; I hav worked on a farm for imy vittles and board, and dieted on t'ride porke ancl ,ri bred until i was az thin as the sermon of a 7-day baptist preacher. J. hav dun all these things and 10 thousand'other things just as ridikulus, and I have got """the old dispepshee yet, just az, natral and az thik az the pimples on a 4-year old goose. If you git a good hold of tho dispepshee once yon kant never looze it intirely. It will cum around once in a while like a ghost, and if it don't scare yu az it did. once, and make yu thiuk yu are going to die to-mor-row, it will make you ft'el just az sorry." A witness was examined before, a , judge in a case of slander, who required him to repeat the precise words spoken. The witness, fixing his : eyes' earnestly on the judge, began':— "May it please your honor, you liej and steal, and get your living by cheat-j ing." The face of the judge reddened, 1 and he exclaimed :—" Turn your head to the jury when you speak." Memento and relic hunters! across! the Atlantic are as indefatigable as.,Oi&! World tourists to Ejrypt or Borne.! The visitors to Mr. Sumner's havo become so unsparing that it has become necessary to el se the house to save it from being carried off bodily. One day tho person in charge of the house had all tho buttons cut from his! dress coat by a party of ladies . arid gentleman, who found the coat lyings on a bed, and supposed it to have been; Mr. Sumner's.