MARK TWAIN on "THE LADIES."

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume V, Issue 268, 25 April 1874, Page 3

MARK TWAIN on "THE LADIES."

Mark Twain was present at the festival* of the Scottish Corporation, when he replied to the toast of " The Ladies." He said :—I have in mind a poem just now which is familiar to you all, familiar to everybody. And what an inspiration that was, (and how instantly the present toast - "recalls the verses to all our minds,) when , the most noble, the most gracious, the purest, the sweetest of all poets says:— " Woman, O woman • er Worn— " —(laughter)-—however, you remember the lines; and you remember how feelinglyhow daintily, how almost imperceptibly the verses raised ap before you, feature by feature, the ideal of a true and perfect woman : and how, as you contemplate the finished marvel, your homage grows into worship of the intellectual that could create so fair a thing out of mere breath, mere words. And you call to mind, now, as I speak, how the poet, with stern fidel■ity to the history of all humanity, delivers this beautiful child of his head and hi* brain over to the trials and sorrows thai must rime to all, sooner"' or" Liter, thatabiie in th*; e?rth ; au:i h>.w the patheSt'" story -culminates in that wild., so regretful, so full of-mournfol reInspection. The lines run thus:— • " A 1 !]?!—alas I—a—alas I Vlas- - -ilas !" — -Mul SD on ("Laughter ) Ido .jotwmember the rest; but taken seems to me that that poem is the noblest tribute to woman that human genius ha*. ever brought torth— (laughter)-and E fe»l that if I were to taL't houra I could not <"•) my great theme completer or mora 'graceful justice than I have done now in ■simply u.luting.that poet's matchless words.. ( Renewed laughter ) -s he phases of the: womanly nature are infinite in their varietyTakt- any type of woman, and you shall? find in it something to respect, something to admire, something to love. And you shall find the whole joining you heart an<£ hand. Who was more patriotic that* Joan of Arc? Who was braver? Wha has given us a grander instance of selfsacrificing devotion? Ah, you remember, you remember well, what a throb of pain' what a great tidal wave of grief swept over us all when Joan of Arc fell at Waterloo. (Much laughter:). Who does not sorrow for the loss of Sappho, the sweet 3inger of" Israel? (Laughter.) Wha among us doesfnot miss the gentle ministrations, the humble piety of Lucretia Borgia? (Laughter.); Who' can join in the heartless libel that, says woman is extravagant in dress when he can look back and call to mtnd our simple and lowly mother Eve arrayed in her modificatiorT of the Highland costume. (Boars of laughter.) Sir, women have been painters, women have been - poets. As long as language lives the nameof Cleopatra will live. And not becauseshe conquered George lll—(laughter) but because she wrote those divine linei—- " Let dogs delight to bark and bit*,. For God hath, made them so.** (More laughter ) The story of the wortd, is adorned with the illustrious ones of *ur qwn sex—some of them sons of St Andrew, too—Scott, Bruce, Burn< the warrior Wallace, Ben Ixevis—(laughter)— the gifted Ben Lomond, and the great new Scotchman, Ben Disraeli. (Great laughter.) Out of the great plains of history tower whole mountain ranges of sublime women—the Queen of sheba, Josephine, Semiramis, Sairey Gamp ; the list ia enlless—(laughter")— but I will not; call the mighty roll, the names rise up in, your own memories at the mere suggestion, luminous with the-glory of deeds that cannot die, hallowed by the loving worship of the good and true of all climes. Mr Barton said lately in Dunedin : .Practically, I look upon.the land question as almost settled in favor of the squatter and land speculator by our present, Landi Acts, and especially by the Act of 1872, *han which a worse or more illiberal Act does not ■ disgrace our Statute-book. Jt has created i.n irresponsible Land Board. It has further assisted to render'ihe public lands of ihe Province almost inalienable, without the consent of the.squatter. It throws every obstacle in the w.-tv of.dedaring sufficient Hundreds. It limits-the land that may be occupied under tne system if deferred payments to 30,000 acres in one year ; and I see hundreds cfc methods by which the working of the Act may be hampered at any step, li that step be in the popular direction. I am, almost hopeless of any improvement* in these Acts, because it seems to be laid d»wn asa .principle that the General Assembly will not 'even consider a measure- proposed in the popular. interest unless it be first recommenced to them by the Provincial Council, while, on the other hand, whenever such a measure comes from the Provincial Council the Assembly cuts out all the clauses in favor, of the people, and leaves in.and adds to the clauses which the Provincial Council gave as concessions to thepastoral tenants. It is a case of " HeadsI win, tails you lose," and each Act that j is passed has hitherto only 'matters. , worse ' . : -jv"~ j . Candidates for the Dunedin Alayoraltf I are in the field at an unusually early date, i Mr. Walter and .Mr. Ramsay "(bothCoun- -... cillorß) are the genderaen who have" at- -' ready announced their determination,-,-** test the election; and botlv have conskierabl* V claims upon the support of the publtt. ? V Each has proved himself as a CounaS6t S'h well worthy of the trusf that has posed in him by the citizeni. and a* t,-if> consequence each will have warm supper- :-' ters when the election takes place. Mr. Walter h Mr. Ramsay's senior in "tW Council, and on this account, and having proved himself a very excellent and at*entive representative, justly claims Ihe sup-, port of the, ratepayer* ! If they prive ■'to. be .theonly. Oandioates. it is anticipated' that the contest will prove a yery.cfoedone ; rumor; however, mentions' Mr.'Jlsk. as being again likely to cometonvard, and: if he does, his chance ot dection will ft

THE FlffDlKt* OF'MOdSS lls-ILtISH. On Ay, Hp's banks, contaguous to the Nolle, King Pharao's daughter whit to walk a wlioiltt; Alid paling off her duds to take ; a sohwim, Kan up and down the banks to dry her schin; And mailing through the rushes, thick and thin, ' " Dishooverad that bashkit that the choild lay in. And thin and there she cried, in accents. woiUl, ■ Which ftv yees ladies is it owns this choild? It's none o* yer own gossoons, yer quick to say; An' that's tlio truth—l've know you many a day; But since we've found him in this bed of roses, By all means let us christen him Howly Moses."