MISCELLANEOUS.

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume V, Issue 267, 18 April 1874, Page 4

MISCELLANEOUS.

,A r London photographer advertises. —, '•lnconsequence of the daily increase of accidents by railway, the public,are ear-, nestly. requested- to call at , and have, their portraits, taken, that some memento of departed friends may be left to sorrowing survivors." < .The wife of a bookworm one day ex-, 1 claimed to her husband, " I wish I ,w,ere, a book, so I could. always be in your ,so- ; ciety."', ',' Well, yes, my dear," saidjth.e,' cruel man, " that would be, charming, if. you .should happen to bo an almanac, so I could change you every year." ~,, j \ ~ America the vlagnifioent.—The. Yankee born is nothing unless he goes, " the whole, hog," bristles size is the measure of power he has lit-all his own way in his own country ;, for he, hiw' every temperature from 'J fry v ; to "friz," the biggest rivers, the biggest, cataracts, the , biggest trees, the biggest parks, the longest range of mountains.,, the, longest railroads, and the greatest„ hotels.; America has also a great debt,', and ,has, lately 'jjftfie through, a .great financial crisis';, nevertheless, she,is,as elastic as a gumball,' and bounds off at 'a tangent whenever slits wills! ' We know that- in, ,1876

she is to hold a Centennial Exhibition or world's fair, in an entire' city of domes, arches, pinnacles, and arcades, such as were never before seen." JTot' content therewith, she now proposes to build a tower 1000 feet in height, with a base of 150 feet diameter, diminishing to 30 feet at the top. The material is to be wrought iron,' tube within tube, the space between these being devoted to a spiral' staircase for,the' venturesome ; while the centre is to be provided with an elevator for /the weary, the wheezy; andthe lazy. Jonathan shrewdly guesses that beside . " that ar" St Peter's, St. Paul's, the Pyramids, and even the tower of Babel itself wil,look mighty small.—lron. ,

No censure can be too harsh' for that wretched man who; being • married the other day, put the wedding ring into i his mouth, when the service began,- that he might find it at the proper moment. That moment arrived. • The minister - winked for the ring. The- trembling ■ bridegroom gave an obedient start, a sudden gulp—and the ring had disappeared down'his unlucky throat. ' '. ''' ".''.• A curious-anecdote is • being related showing the tendency of great minds on solemn occasions'. At the time of Mazzini's death he reopened his will arid wrote in it, "I open once more my will to order that when dead they bum me, and keep my ashes at home. ■By all the Supernal and Infernal Gods; 'my skin shall not serve the charlatan Moderates for a drum to beat at fair time."