MISCELLANEOUS.

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume V, Issue 261, 7 March 1874, Page 4

MISCELLANEOUS.

, " If you don't want the soot, don't go up the chimney," was the reply of a New York editor to " respectable " parties who requested him not to mention the fact that they .had been arraigned in the police courts.

As two gentlemen were passing a blackberry patch while the fruit was unripe, one of them pointed to the berries and said, ""Is'nt it odd that, anyone should call those red things, which are so green, Watf/iberrio?,?"

' A Quaker having sold a fine-looking but blind horse, asked the purchaser, " Well.'my friend, dost thou see any fault in hiinV" "No," was the answer. " Neither will he see any fault in thee,", said old broadbrim. . . .. ~ A CnroAGo Item.—" A brick fell from a scaffold in Dearborn-street yesterday, ancl' crashed through a bridge underneath ._ What,.Colonel has the doctor for this morning, is because it was the bridge of his nose " - ' ' Well, Sniffles, have you posted the ledger? asked an employer of a new clerk. ". Yes,-sir," ■ said Sniffles, ''l've posted thvi ledger, but it was too big to go in the letter-box, so I had to leave it inside.". I A good-natured beadle, used to encourage young preachers when' he, 'saw them at all flurried, by- kindly tapping their shoulders ■ with the encouraging words : '• Gang awa up my young man, and you will overcome your leelings. When I.at • first took up the Bible, I was very nervous, but now I feel nowise agitated in the service." ■ ■ .'

A system of condensed gardening for ladies ; —make your bed in the morning ; sew buttons on your husband's shirt; do not rake ' any grievances; protect the young and tender branches of your family ; plant a smile of good-temper on your face, and caiefully root out all angry feelings, and expect a good crop of happiness.

A genuine . Highlander wa3 one day looking at a print from a picture by one of the old masters, in which angels were represented, blowing trumpets." He inquired if the angels played on trumpets, and being answered in the affirmative', made the remark—." Itech, sirs ! I wonder they dinna borrow a pair o' bagpipes."