AN UNIFORTUNATE SHAVER.

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume III, Issue 186, 27 September 1872, Page 3

AN UNIFORTUNATE SHAVER.

A worthy citizen undertook to trim his beard a short time since, and by a slip of the scissors- spoiled the cat. He trimmed a little more, and still more, but it would, look lopsided, so he went to the barber's and got shaved for the first time in 12 years. He was very busy, and business detained him in his office until a.late hour of the night, and when he went home lie found that his family had retired This was- not an unusual occurrence so he silently entered by means of a latch-key, sought his own. room, and undressed without lighting a candle He got partly into bed, when his wife astonished him by uttering a loud and prolonged scream. ...He was very much alar med, and feared she 11 ad lost her reason. He implored her to tell him was the matter. At the sound of his voice she screamed—" Oh Edward, come quick and save me !" " I am here,, dear," said he ; but she only screamed the louder at the words. He sprang out of bed, and had juststruck a light, when his brother-in-law a muscular six-footer, rushed into the room, and with a poker aimed, a blow at his head. In a minute a palefaced man, with a long white robe, staggered under the blow, which had doubled the size of his organ of comparison. " Great heavens !" exclaimed the husband, " Tare you all crazy ?" " Bless my heart!" shouted the muscular brother-in-law. " Why, it's Ned himself. "What on earth tempted you to get yourself up in that style?" " What style ?" asked the much-abused husband, as he rubbed the growing lumps on his forehead. " Why, when did you shave ?" It was all clear to him then. His wife had put up her hand in the dark, and meeting the shaved face of a man, took her husband for an intruder. She recognised his voice at first, -but the second time he spoke her terror was to great, and she fainted. His wife recovered from her faint only to faint again at the recognition of her husband's shaven face and the poker mark on his forehead. Matters were finally straightened up at home, but in the streets his friends passed him without speaking, and at the bank he was not only refused payment of a draught, but threatened with arrest for signing his own name in endorsing it. Of course a little explanation brought the various affairs all right, but it took so much time to explain, and for the concussion on his forehead to get well, that the aforesaid citizen vows he will never shave asrain, as he considers it a -habit dangerous to peace, and even to life.—' South London News.'