MISCELLANEOUS.

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume III, Issue 171, 14 June 1872, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A. wag says, ."that d legal : peculiarityof (he West is, that : all'tire lawyers are judges—and none of the judges are lawyers. Mistress: " How is; it that you did, not answer the. bell .when I Maid :—" Sure mem, ' twas. bekase I didn't know what you were tor mem. . *•-„.,•

An Irish girl, who plumed herself upon bein.vc employed ,in at'*:genteel family,'- was.asked a.definition.:;of the term. "Where they have two or three kinds of wine, and the gentlemen swear," was her replv. Leavenworth, Kansas, is said to boast of a man" whb'-'s'so ,tall that his likeness cannot be got into the picture. A local artist has pointed his head and shouhlcrs, and announces that fee will be continued next week.

" Do you observe what a fine bead my boy ha*?*' said an admiring father to,a circle of friends. "Come here, my son: You're a chip of the old -bloi-k; aren't you." "Yes, pa. The teacher told me yesterday that I was a regular blockhead 1"

Johnny was telling his ma how he was going to dress and show off when, he was a man. His ma asked, Johnny, how do you expect to get your living when you get to be a man?" —"Well," said Johnny, "I'll get married,.and live with my wife's pa." A Scotch minister recently told his neighbour that he spoke two hour's and :.a .halt* .the .Sunday, previous. " Why, minister, were you not tired to death," asked the neighbour. "Aw nae," said he, " 1 was as fresh as arose but it would have dqne your heart good to see how tired the eongregatioa was:' ~ - ..

Pro?'es3or "Wilson was one day engaged in vehement discussion ; as to the generalship of Napoleon and the Duke of Wellington. " You will .allow, at all events," urged his antagon-' ist," that Napjleori surprised the-Duke at Waterloo ?" " Ah," exclaimed the Professor, " but didn't the Duke astonish him!"

Sixteen WivTrs.—" Yoi>. say," aaid. the judge/' the clergymen who married you to the first wife authorised you to t.-kke sixteen? ' do you mean s 'by that.?" "Well," said Hans, " he told me dafc I should have four petter, four vorser, four, richer, and four booret —and in bur country four timeo four nuke sixteen."

A Lawyer's Letter. —The following is said to be the copy of -a letter sent by a member of the legal profession to a person who was indebted to one of his clients : —" Sir, lam desired to apply to you. fo? the sum of £2O due to my client, Mr Jones; If you sendme the money by this da? week you will oblige me; if not, I shall oblige you." A Hist.—A Parisian lady called on her milliner the other day to.".ta>JioTi}>"" the character of a- servant. The/re-nr-ectable.appearance-of the.latter >an beyond questioning, " But is 'aW honest ?" asked the lady. "I am ,iiot so about that," replied .the liiilliiii-i* ; *' 1 have sent her to you with my bill a ihnek and "she, has never yet given'me Lhe money."