"OUR VAGRANT REPORTER."

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume III, Issue 154, 16 February 1872, Page 6

"OUR VAGRANT REPORTER."

nominal charge of 6d. a-week'each." At

" Fittt Justitia ruat cesium."

Having been told by an Oracle that it is proper to belong to a clique, last week I sought- admission into the " Stand Off" Hall Company and " Sneering Clique," when the following questions were put to me: —lst. Is the report true that you intend to join the West End singing class ? 2nd. Were you h ard to say that Toby kept the best wines at the Ilogburn ? 3rd. Did you tell Oily Gammon that you thought there was more whiskey and oatmeal consumed here than in any town in Otago? 4h. Did you say that Little Alick thrived on long credit and great expectations ? To the first question I replied : That, with due respect to the Cliquy I should be proud of belonging to a class from which, in years hence, many a professional will date his entree into the musi-

cal world. In regard to Toby's liquors, I

could not deny the soft impeachment. It was Oily Gammon himself who remarked "We are a great, whiskey and oatmeal people hereand with the intention only <}f avoiding an argument, I humbly replied, " Just what I should expect of you." And I am sure I should, not say anything disrespectful of Little Alick, for He is T the best friend my class could have. When my old chum Bobby Carters was here. Alick used to lend him money often, although it was asked for in a most Dog-

matic- manner. And whenever I want

anything I pretend I have only a, ten pound note, and Alick invariably replies he has no change. "It doesn't matter." "He will book it." Now, Jemmy always screws up his phiz and offers to get change at Mac's back-door ; and I detest Jemmy for his narrow-mindedness in not trusting a gentleman when he comes in to patronise him. I was then told by the Chair-

man that I would be admitted if I would

promise .never to goto the singing class •again. Indignant at the proposed condition of my entrance, I replied, " That class

is a credit to its founders, and should be .supported by the public at large. I believe your antagonism is actuated by jealousy. Henceforward I will emulate the example of Dear No, and encourage opposition as the soul of trade. Through your detestable cliqueisin," (and here, in my passion, I erred, for I forgot that I had

just tried and failed to become a member of the most influential clique in the place),

I roared out,

"all the means that are de-

vised, every effort made to advance science* intellectual amusement, and literature at Hogburn are crushed and annihilated

in the bud. Monster petitions are gent to the Government for a sludge , .channel. ; A. Commissioner is sent to yeport; and in his anxiety to please . everybody,. what a spectacle, poor man, ( he has made of himself. A small, select, but determined party plainly see. that, the result of a sludge channel would feed hundreds of people for years, • ab tlie.cost of depriving twenty people of a little fortune each, to be obtained by-and-bye, when the valley is well nigh choked. Plot and. counterplot—mine and under-mine-rCommissioner retires—Government awaits issues—files documents with nar- - row pink tape in a pigeon-hole—counter-plot chuckles in the sleeve triumphant. Cliqueism rages hotter than ever. A Mu-

nicipality is then proposed, and fifteen first-class, men, with equal rights, are candidates for the civic chair. The consequence is that jealousy.sways, to and fro. A well organised scheme for public good is assailed —poison introduced —patriots, disheartened, retreat—and cliqueism once more rages rampant. Naseby is the only Gotdfi"!ds town in Ota go wiihout a public lib-it.*/, ai.tl y ;u would snuff our, without tli-« esi compunction, the quiet, little, in If ivsive, semi-public singing class, which you are all invited to attend at the

this moment the Committee arose with intent to provoke a breach of the peace, so I retreated, singing Do, me, fa, sa, la, do, at the top of my voice, until I got to the corner, when T spied old Finger-pockets cun--ing, so, out of regard for, his position, I immediately altered my demeanour. Poor old Finger-pockets; I believe he is the greatest thinking man in this place. That man begins thinking about opposite Sam Ashe's, and k;'eps up a train of thought all the way up to M'Kenna's brewery, and back again to Sam's. T have felt inclined sometimes to ask the old chap if he had lost anything, but I have discovered that

Instead of toy or trinket losing, His absent thoughts they are (a)musing,

There are some people who can never appreciate their blessings until they lose them. So long as I lived alone in the field I was marked, sympathised with, deplored, and I prospered "beyond measure on sympathy; but competition is setting in to ruin me, and my competitors, I am afraid, have been longer at the trade. I cannot conceive why they do not try farther up the country. T have heard that Clyde is a glorious field for the class, and that there are not many there now. I feel quite downhearted, and there are nb signs, of the Maerewhenua track yet. My rival in the field is too much for me. By George, I think that man is a jockey, for he cou'd take in a Horse-well ; but failing in that occupation, having been refused by a Hunter, he retired for a while with gtod Grace, He subsequently entered into partnership with Law,-son. and daughter, but I have heard since he has become a sculptor, and is now chiselling busts. He has, I believe, through all his chequered career, retained one virtue, perhaps highly commended by all but a poor outcast like myself—viz., that he avoids slander and has a kind word for everybody. He has a Urge, open, generous heart, and thinks well of all mankind. Ha daes not see so much of the world as I do, for I rise with the sun, and he at two p.m., or thereabouts, so that he only gets a mere glimpse of human nature by daylight. More anon. Tom.