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Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume II, Issue 118, 2 June 1871, Page 3

Cincinnati has a divorce caso wherein' the parties aggregate one hundred aud thirty years in age. The plaintiff com plains of cruel treatment, and says that she had to fish for a living, while her husband was drinking whiskey out of a Britannia metal teapot. Henry Ward Beecher asked Park Benjamin, the poet and humorist, why he never came to Brooklvn to hear him preach. Benjamin replied, " Why Beecher, the fact is, ] have conscicii tious scruples against going to places of public amusement on Sundays."

A.SMAUT WITNiWS. The following- dialogue betwc-n a witness and counsel for tie defence occurred some time ago in a court not a hundred miles from Ballarat. The witness was a stout solid-looking fellow, with a face as grave as an old headstone in an ancient churchyard, and seemed expressly made by nature for being snubbed and played upon, the counsel in question stands alone in ais glory as an adept in the use of colonial Billingsgate, and enjoys a wide-spread notoriety for his singular ability iu badgering and biowbeating witnesses, and all who ate opposed to him. As soon as the witness entered the box, the learned counsel eyed him with a quick, sharp glance, which plainly said,''AH right, my man, I'll polish you off directly ;" and. drawing his hand across his legal forehead with a majestic sweep, he smiled a magnificent smile, clearly intimating to the assembled ourt that they might expet.t some rare fun presently, ue then opened fire: Counsel--What are you ? V\ itness—A quartz feeder Counsel—What! are you really fond of quartz? Witness—No, I prefe" pints, when I can get 'them. ( Laughter.) Counsel—Pints indeed! Do you mean pints of colonial or points of law ? Witness—Colonial of course ; a pint of colonial is more to the point, and contains more spirit* jhan all the law and lawyers in Victoria, (Great laughter.) Counsel—Come now, you seem a very smart fellow, what does the battery do with the quartz ? Witness—the very same that a lawyer does with his clients. Counsel—And what may that be ? Witness—Why, it extracts every particle of gold out of them. Counsel You can go down. The witness did so, amidst roars of laughter.