HAMILTON.

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume I, Issue 31, 3 September 1869, Page 3

HAMILTON.

(From our own. Correspondent.) Instead of writing to you last week, I employed my leisure in attempting to dramatise a few incidents that have occurred in and around your own neighborhood within the last few weeks, and which have evidently passed unnoticed, if I may judge by the silence exhibited on the matter. As I do not intend making the whole—there are seven

acts—public property at present.. I shall merely give you a synopsis of the first k act, but if you, or any of your particular friends take a fancy for it, I might be persuaded to lend you the manuscript; and in the meantime I believe

the first act will satisfy the most curious. Here it is :

Act. I.—Scene 1: A portion of the Maniototo Plains, situated between the Hogburn and Eweburn Creeks, on

which are seen sundry and divers animals —i.e., horses and cattle—quietly grazing on the produce of Mother Earth, their stolid indifference indicating a total ignorance of the eighth commandment.—Grand tableau—A noise in the distance as of a host of mighty mounted men rushing down on the flocks and herds, which,.with uplifted heads and starting eyeballs indicate their presentiment of some aporoaching calamity, while Aries . is. seen in the background looking on with derision, a scroll issuing from his mouth on which is .printed the following explanatory sentence, " Tou must all go to Pound."

After finishing the drama • (some might be inclined to call it a comedy) in my own crude style, I found I had still a little time to spare, so I took to writing poetry, but it .is very clear that poetry is not mj forte —a remark I dare say most of your readers will think applicable to my prose —so I will be con-

tent with giving you a specimen, merely intimating that I have plenty of the same doggrel on hand. Here is the sample:—

Great Chapman, the squatter, his high blood is up. Quoth he "That vile Naseby rag has gi'en me

a snub ; By the aid of my quill I will strike such a blow, That the Mount Ida Press I will soon overthrow."

Ques. Has he succeeded? Ans. Yes—-in making himself ridiculous. In your issue of the 27th instant I was in hopes that some more able pen than mine (that I believe is the correct phrase) would have taken up the gauntlet so hastily and inadvisedly thrown down by Mr. W. C. Chapman in his letter, appearing in your issue of the 20th instant; but as such was not, the case, and as I consider that " our " honor —for you see that I identify myself with you already, and therein lieth my ambition —is concerned, I will just have a word or two with Mr. Chapman. I must say that he was particularly unfortunate in the choice of his subject for a maiden effort—for I believe it was his first appearance in the ? Mount Ida Chronicle' —and also in the selection of the words diffused through his memorable Epistle. But then the

V whole of it smells so strongly of gall | vthat I can only characterise it as, an I effusion of bad taste,' bad temper, and \ bad feeling ; and a very fair inference v to be deduced from it is, that however | much you may have been " nettled " | because he did not advertise his inten-

tion to make a raid on the Hogburn animals, he was evidently " stung " at , your gentle allusion (if you did allude to it) to the fact. Else why did said allusion rouse the squatting lion to mount the breach and dare you—or any other man, I suppose —to assail him in his stronghold ? But a quiet. f word with yourself. in passing; for, while I admire your bravery in bearding the lion in his den, you must know i the proverb regarding discretion; and u really your temerity deserved the rebuke in part. How could you be so mad as to allude to the fact of his not advertising ? It was so selfish and unseemly of you not to have some respect for his feelings—for you cannot plead ignorance to the fact that squatters have feelings—and then to do it more than once (for by his. letter I

gather that it was not the only time), Most certainly your usual caution must have forsaken you, and I warn you that you must be more guarded for the future, otherwise the tie existing be-, tween us will be rudely snapped asunder. Just imagine how you or I, had we the fortune to be "runners"—l beg pardon, I mean squatters, but the word occurred to me through his using the word his " run," so I thought he must be a "runner"—just like my stupidity—how, I say, would we like to have sly insinuations inserted in a paltry newspaper, implying meanness; it would really be too bad. Human nature could not stand it; especially human nature as developed in Js.P., and of course we. by virtue of our talents, &c., would have been Js.P., I just fancy your lettea Under such circumstances:;' I do not think it would conclude in the manner of the one under dissection, with a pathetic allusion to the meanness of the stock raided—stupid word again—upon. Oh, no. It would be a regular smasher, ending in the total annihilation of the obnoxious periodical. But to return to my subject. The quiet intimation that the stock were jmean enough, to return to to the same pastures the following day has something very touching in it, and the owners mnst be mean if they would allow their beasts to trespass on such gentleness and forbearance, unless, as I imagine is the case, that in releasing them they paid a ransom sufficient to cover, for one year, any reasonable charge for roaming over such favored and fertile soil. However, I can easily believe that the cattle are able to take care, of themselves, and do not require my help; only I would refer their owners to the advertisement, vide, section 34, &c., &c. But his cutting remarks regarding a better medium of advertising than your journal are so very sarcastic and severe, that I fully expected to hear that you had an attack of low fever, and began to pity you in consequence; and really you deserve pity. Eor, \~hat with the wrath of the pastoral incerest hanging over your devoted head, and the opposition in business plainly hinted at by Mr. Chapman-—for he does not say that he informed the owners of the cattle, only : he " apprised many people" —I cannot see how you can long survive, and now is the time for friends (like myself, for instance) to rally round your banner and fight whenever called upon. But does Mr. Chapman really prefer patronising illegitimacy in advertising, and is he sincere in saying that he considers it a better medium ? for in that case I owe him an apology which is certainly his due, seeing that he must of necessity be better acquainted with your "peripatetic newspapers" than I can possibly be, and with this amende T will dismiss him for the time, and continue the "Opposition Newspaper Grievance." * ; So then there appears to be some truth in the report which -reached me some time ago, that there were several " Daily Locomotive ISTewspapers " in Mount Ida. I heard their names, but may have forgotten some, or been misinformed. If in mentioning them I should err through either casualty they must forgive me, for my intention' is honest; I was told, of the ' Morning Star,' a daily publication of some pre-tensions,-which does not get patronised according to merit. Then, the • Daily Times,' a most worthy patronymic to the indefatigable industry of the conductor, and another example of ability thrown away, patronage being in this instance most unaccountably withheld. Then the - Evening Star ' is a rather quiet, methodistic, unobtrusive ' daily,' not largely patronised; but all these have their own coteries of supporters, who, in their own way I suppose, consider their light as the true reflection of propriety. I would deal charitably with them, and, as a man, advise them to persevere, and success will atteiid their efforts ; for when they see that the "legitimate medium " has difficulties to contend against, how can they expect their "illigitimate" path to be all roses ? but, as a supporter of the press, my advice to them is simply to " collapse." Writing of your troubles reminds me of my own, for even in our small community I have opposition ; and if I attempted to give you any news regarding matters in general here I would be cried down, for it would be very stale news before reaching here again. I have " two dailies " to contend against, both being of the " peripetetic genus homo," and the ply their calling at different period of the day (of twfentyfpur

hours) with equivocal success. I will not attempt to dwell upon their merits, for people might think I was " nettled,"' but will name them, and hope they,will just allow me to make a living quietly amongst them : The first is the 'Daily Telegraph ' and the other is the ' Midnight Howler.' True to their names is as good a eulogy as I can write them,