MESSAGES FROM MARS.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XLVI, Issue 2780, 4 September 1924, Page 4

MESSAGES FROM MARS.

A LOCAL EXPERIMENT,

(Written for the Christchurch Star) Last night Mars came within 34,000,000 miles of us, and, as the Americans expected to get a few messages from the Martians, I hitched my aerial up a few feet and listened-in. Wonderful! Never heard the like of it! About 8.30 o’clock I heard a faint voice. It asked: “Is that bright spot in the southern seas Auckland?” It seemed such a natural sort of question that I shouted “Surely.” “If it is Auckland,” went on the voice, “would you tell me how many knights have been created lately for distinguished service to the Empire?” Of course, I wasn’t going to answer a man like that, so I tuned in at 250,000 ohms and waited. By and by I heard a voice saving “The unimpeachable record of this Government, its masterly handling of the country’s finances, and the statesmanship which has guided it through the most difficult, period of the country’s history are ’ Realising that somehow I had caught Mr Massey answering a question in Parliament as to the import, dutv on flannelette, I pushed in another 'valve and now registered 300,000 ohms. A long wait and then a smaller voice: “Hullon. there,” Again, quite naturally I said “Hullo.” “Give my love to Jim.” That beat me. Obviously a message for America. But no. ’ “Tell him that he is such a great Minister of Education that Mars offers no opening. Tie should try Venus.” This of course, is a problem that we scientists .must work out. New Zealand has a Minister of Education whose second name is James, 1 nt. if other countries have one with a first name of that name then, I lqkc it, they have a prior claim. Frankly,* l was disappointed. The messages really were not on a very high level. Plugged in another valve slapped on an amplifier and again waited. There?” queried a more musical voice. Great excitement. “Tell the boys there arc no closi.g hours.” Ah. Now we were getting it. Bui, ,oe is me, T never caught that voice gain. Instead T heard a rather oiigli, if feminine voice say quite •stinctly: “Slop looking at that illy thing and have your supper.” Scientifically speaking, 1 cannot ,iv definitely that that message rally came from Mars. My dillialt v was, v<>u see, that I coiildn t nswer both. Next minute 1 wished ore than eVer T could. A lovely oii-i—l had thrown in n detector ml recorded 45(1,00(1 ohms said “Oh, Earth, does love dwell ■ Here? Do lovers meet upon your • i vstal strands '! Could ” Thinking to get the full benefit of ibis, I was in the act of putting on c loud speaker when a voice said: “Aw, cut it out!” But again, T cannot say where it came from. There are many mysteries about . ireless telegraphy that remain to be solved. Threw in a few more ohms —a few more or less don’t count with me —and again listened-in. Said a voice: “Say, we’ll be 4.000,000 miles fu~ i her away .from you tn-morrov. i ight; but before we glide off, tell me who delivered that wonderful speech the other night about a place called Christchurch trying to get more members on a harbour board so as to build a canal. We’re keen cn canals up here. Whenever we’ve got nothing to. do we build another one. Do you think the man who single-handed has prevented this Christchurch from getting a canal would conic tliis way? He’ll he able jo talk against canals all day. “Fancy,” I said to myself. “Fancy George Witty’s speech reaching Mars. Wonderful, I call it.” Chucked in a few more ohms, but a cloud came across the sky and I ,-ould neither see nor hear Mars. However, I’ve enjoyed writing this. Mars has figured a lot in the Star lately. To balance things up a hitibis is Pa’s.