PARLIAMENTARY “BULLS."

Manawatu Herald, Volume XLIV, Issue 2400, 4 March 1922, Page 4

PARLIAMENTARY “BULLS."

AND POLITICAL “BLOOMERS.” (Auckland Observer) It is sometimes alleged that humour is rarely heard inside the sacred portals of Parliament. The following specimens of Parliamentary bulls and humour have been collected by Mr Vivian Potter, M. P., who is very jealous of the reputation of the House of Representatives. He gives the assurance that they are all “dinkum.” Ward: —“You might as well try to get two pints of water ■ into a quart bottle as to do as the non. Minister suggests.” Isitt: —“Soldiers who are poultry farming have to compete against Chinamen whose eggs arrive here at less than Is. a dozen. Veitch:— “The Prime Minister has painted a beautiful picture, but he is not going to get me to swallow it”

McCollum: —Representation Commission for Adjustment of Quota.”

“My electorate is the stupidest in the Dominion.” Isitt: —“I would like to see a man who will bring his backbone to the. front.”

Holland:—“The Hon. Minister’s shortcomings do not go far enough.”

Parry:—“Yes, go on, strangle us with a club.

Lysnar:—“The lion, gentleman clutches at straws and makes mountains out of them.” Thacker: —“A protest against lower paid servants being dismissed while higher paid were kept on. He knew of one girl who was the low-' estin service being kept on.” Brown: —“The Lord sends the rain and the sheep eat it.” Horn: —“The man with an injured spine is less use to his widow than a dead man.” Lysnar:—“When a man gets down to bedrock with liquor he then knows where he stands.”^ Dr Pomare: —“I am as wide awake when I’m asleep, as you are when you arc awake.” Massey:—“The fifteen millions were spent in the interests of this country.” Mr Wilford: “And ignorance.” Mr Massey: “For ignorance I would ask the lion, gentleman to look in the mirror.” Dr Newman: “Re motor v. Railways. Motor buses will go up to their neck in mud and pull through.”

Arbitration and Conciliation: — Sullivan: “Like a bull in a China shop handling industrial disputes.” Mr Rutherford, in an irritated moment, said: “I am that sick of the whole business, I feel like throwing up my seat.” Mr Wilford said he would give £SO to any man who could prove that he had ever turned his face to the foe.” Hon. R. J. Seddon, in speaking to a member who had displeased him, said: “He-would have a talk to the lion, gentleman with a firm hand.” Dr Buddo, referring "to some remarks by F. M. B. Fisher, said: “The lion, gentleman got up to pour oil on the troubled waters, instead of which he poured on sand and set the whole thing ablaze.”

Mr A. Glover said: “He bad every sympathy for poor widows, whose husbands bad left them.” Mr Witty: “This Civil Service Bill will be of great service to the orpans and fatherless children.”

Sir J. G. Ward, speaking after the defeat of Mr Massey, said: “Thank God, the country has been saved from falling into the arms of the vultures.” 1

Mr Wilford, referring to a new member of the House, said: “The lion, gentleman is only a fledgling, just beginning to cut his teeth.” Mr J. Bollard, on the taxation of absentees, remarked: “That the subject was not a very important one, as there were not many absentees in this country.” Sir J. G. Ward, replying to Mr Herdman said: “I have knocked the lion, gentleman’s legs font under his feet.”

Hon. Russell, in replying to Mr Fisher, said: “The lion, gentleman has thrown the apple of discord on the floor of the House.” “Yes,” said Mr F. M. B. F., and the lion, gentleman has got the pip.” Mr Witty, speaking on the question of taxation, said: “He would impose a tax on all bachelors who had not gone to the front, unless they had been rejected. (Laughter.) “I don’t mean what you mean. I mean those who are not competent. (Laughter.) I mean those who are not lit for service. (Laughter.) I mean those who are not fit to serve at the front. (Great laughter.)

J. Hannan, speaking on ail important question, said: “This is no time for platitudes. We must get, down to bedrock principles, and deal with the question on broad national lines.”

Dr Newman, pleading for exemption of married men from service, said: “It : would be iniquitous to force a man to go to the front if lie had the misfortunate to have twins.” Mr Veitch said: “He supported a system that would embrace every member of Parliament.” Mr Nash said to Mr Holland: “One thing. L don’t go walking about the streets on soap boxes.”