SHORT STORIES

Manawatu Herald, Volume XLIII, Issue 2300, 9 July 1921, Page 1

SHORT STORIES

During a lesson in a certain school, (he instructor asked the pupils what wonders were to be seen to-day that wore not in evidence fifty years ago.

There were manv answers —aero-

planes, the telegraph, (he telephone, electric lighting, motors, etc. Finally one little fellow contributed his wonder!

“Me and mv little brother."

Tommy had made a praiseworthy attempt to whistle the latest popular melody, and, being mightily impressed with the importance of his achievement, he inquired: “Can’t I whistle fine, mother?”-

“Yes, darling, you do very well ndoed,” replied his amused parent. ‘Can your little playmate whistle, oo ! ”

“Whittle!” exclaimed the live-'ear-old, contemptuously. “No. he an only make the hole.”

Mr J. C. Perry’s book, entitled “More Bulls and Blunders," contains many amusing anecdotes. The following is one of them: — “A tedious preacher had preached the assize sermon before Lord VeJverlon, and came down smiling to his lordship, and expecting congratulations upon his effort, asked: “Well, my lord, how did you like the sermon ? "

“Oil, most wonderful.” replied Lord Velverton: ‘“it was like the peace of God, it passed all understanding, and, like Hi- mercy, l thought it would have endured for ever.” Here is another of Mr -I. C. Percy's stories: “Ail Irish farmer had a couple of daughters wlm had been on the marriage market for some time. Numerous applicants had been refused a hearing. Recently a friend tried to arrange what he considered to be reasonable offers, but the old man would not listen, and, in reply to further-argu-ments, .-aid: “I know my own business; there's as good fish in the ‘say’ as ever was caught.” “Aye,” replied the friend, “but ye must remember, Dan, that the baits are getting stale.”

A long wisp of artificial grain that served as a slick-up on the sweet girl’.- hat was placed horizontally, so llmt it tickled up and down the face of the man who >at next to her in the tramear, until it came to a resting-place with the cinl nestling in his right ear. After the car had travelled a little farther, the man was seen to remove from his pocket a large jack-knife, which lie proceeded to strop on the palm of his horny • hand. Excitedly the girl inquired: “Why are you doing that ?" “If them oats gits in my ear again," the man ejaculated, “there's gonna to be a harvest."