THINGS YOU OUGHT TO KNOW

Manawatu Herald, Volume XLIII, Issue 2294, 25 June 1921, Page 4

THINGS YOU OUGHT TO KNOW

GEMS OF THOUGHT FROM SCHOOLBOYS.

A rich collection of schoolboy ‘howlers” was given in the Univerily Correspondent recently. This ournal offered a prize *for the best rolleetion of amusing schoolboy nistalecs. Here are a few of the test: —

William the Conqueror ni the Battle of Hastings ordered his archers to shoot at the thickest part of. the English, so they shot upwards that the arrows might fall on the Englishmen’s heads. In the reign of Henry VII. the head of the church fell into the hands of the king. The Duke of Marlborough was a great general who always commenced a battle with the fixed determination to win or lose.

Magna Charta said that the King was not to order taxis without the consent of Parliament. The Eire of London did a great deal of good. It purified the city from the dregs of the Plague and burnt down eighty-nine churches. Simon do Mont fort was. a true Englishman because lie fought ngainst- the king and put him in prison. Charles 11. told the people that, they could get drunk or gamble or do as they liked. This was called the Restoration.

Here are a few gems of general information from the examination

papers: A vacuum is nothing shut up in a

box. Sir Walter Scott wrote Quentin Dnrwanl, Ivanhoc and Emulsion. A candidate for the Civil Service must be a neutralised British sub-

ject. Examinations may be written or

vice versa. The cold at the North lNde is -o great- that the towns there are not. inhabited. Liberty of conscience means dong wrong and not worrying about it afterwards. Tf care is not taken with dusty corners microscopes will breed there. The only sign of life in the Tundras are a few stunted corpses.