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Manawatu Herald, Volume XLIII, Issue 2253, 19 March 1921, Page 3

(To the Editor.)

’ Sir.—The following is reported to have been received by a local storekeeper. I do not vouch for its veracity:—“Dear Sir. —Here’s this week’s order. 2 packets of candles. Jim had the toothache sometiling awful last Wednesday. Please send a bottle of toothache cure. I believe you're having a big Carnival in Foxton shortly. We heard that one of the queens was so certain of being crowned that she’s having her coronation dress made now. 2 pounds of currants. Cleaned this time. Is it right (hat the Fire Brigade had serious intentions of entering a candidate for the Queenship? 2 pounds of biscuits. Don’t send crackers this time, Is it true that another shopkeeper is going to dress his window for one of the queens'? 3 tins of jam. Is it true that a young man, anxious to help a queen candidate, offered his services and was given an article of underwear to raffle? 1 tin of pepper. Is ii trite that a Foxton boy bought a ticket on a recent Shop Day in another person’s name, and when the results were announced there was ‘something doing’ for a few minutes? T tin of mustard. Is it true that the Harbour Board is going to put their dredge on wheels for the procession 2 bars ‘Sunlight’ soap. Is it true that the several committees arc losing sleep, thinking up vote-catching ideas? 1 packet of matches. Is it true that there is a big argument going on over who is to crown (he Queen? And 3 plugs of ‘Derby.’ That’s all for this week. I came into town last Saturday to pay your bill, but the ticketsellers got in first. Can you possibly let this account stand over till after the Carnival?” —I am, etc., DUDLEY FORD.