CONUNDRUMS.

Manawatu Herald, Volume XLII, Issue 2221, 30 December 1920, Page 1

CONUNDRUMS.

What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison? — One cannot see to.go} the other cannot go to sea.

If a king kiss a queen, and a queen kiss a king, what public building in London will they represent? —The Royal Exchange. What comes with a coach, goes with a coach, is of no use to the coach, and yet the coach cannot go on without it —Noise.

What is the best way to get a set of teeth inserted gratis?-—Go into somebody’s yard where they keep a big dog, and kick him,

What’s the difference between an Irishman frozen to death and a Highlander on a mountain peak? — One is kilt with the cold, the other cold with thekilt. What bird can lift the heaviest weight?—The crane. Why is a true and faithful friend like garden seeds? —Because you never know the value of either until they are put under ground. Who are the most wicked people in the world, and why—Penmakers, because they make people steel pens, and (ell them they do write (right).

What is the difference between a beached vessel and a wrecked aeroplane? —One grounds on the land, and the other lands on the ground. What is the first thing you do when you get into bed? —You make an impression.

Why does a woman lose lime after she is twenty? —Time waits far no man, and slie does. W’hat is I bat whicdi denotes Ihe stale of the mind and body?—The longue.

When does a farmer double up a sheep 'without hurling it ?—When he folds it. . *

Why are lazy persons’ beds 100 short-for I hem? —Because they lie too long in them. Why is a lady's hair like the latest hews?—Jn the morning we liml it in (lie papers.

Why are lishermen and shepherds like beggars? —Because they live by hook or l>v crook.

Why is.a beggar mending his clothes like a landlord? —Because lie is making up his rents. What mechanical trade does a clergyman represent when officiating at a marriage ? —A joiner. .

Who was the fastest ‘runner in the world? —Adam; because he was first in the human race.

What should you do if you split your sides with laughter?—Run till you get a stitch in theta. Why don’t people improve when in prison? —Because the whole thing is move or le>s a sell (cell).

Why should goat’s.milk he used most in the dairy?—Because the goat makes the host butler. What words" may he pronounced quicker and shorter by adding syllables to them?- —Quick and short. What was it a blind man look at breakfast that restored his sight? • —He took a cup and saw, sir (saucer). What historical character does a person name when asking the servant to put coal on the lire? —Philip the Groat.

What proves a minister to be a most affectionate man? —Because in every church you'll find a catechist (cat he kissed). In what case is it absolutely impossible to be slow and sure? —In the case of a watch.